The Adventures of Bond Girl & Iron Bladder

If...

the weather permits, I plan to spend the next week, minus the time I spend at Grandma's, romping around on the Cat Farm.

Prior to my arrival, Dad stocked up on catfish food. Since my last visit, Dad has "trained" the catfish to swim to the banks of the pond for their food. Since he told me about it, weeks ago, I have been dying to witness it.

In the evenings I often visit my favorite spots, usually on the hilltops, where I can sit and think, plucking and shredding blades of grass as thoughts enter and exit my consciousness. When I was in high school this hilltop was my favorite.

There's a small fish pond surrounded by a stand of trees. An oak tree stands at the head of the pond, it's branches providing the perfect canopy of shade on a sunny afternoon. I like this spot so much we buried Jordan, our Golden Retriever, there . I also like the view it provides of the farmhouse.

During my last stay, I ventured to the opposite side of the farm. Dad prefers the view from this hilltop which is located behind the farmhouse. In May, I discovered two wild turkeys roaming around on this hillside. When I tried to approach them they "flew" or soared out of reach. Afterward, I likened the turkeys to my goals; whenever I get close they seem to move just beyond my reach and yet, I still find myself running, sometimes blindly with arms flailing, to reach them. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

For now, I'm happy to be back on the Cat Farm with nothing to do but adore the cats, work in the garden, roam the hills and feed the catfish.

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If Only It Could Fly...

Over virgin strawberry daiquiris Amanda invited me to attend her family's cookout in St. Rose, Louisiana in celebration of the Fourth. At first I wasn't sure if I should accept or reject her generous invitation. I worked Friday, one of two souls in the entire office, and I am still trying to catch-up on much needed sleep.

My sleep deprivation began three-weeks ago with Scrapin' the Coast and has continued for various reasons since. Allow me to explain Scrapin' the Coast.

The Gulf Coast is often referred to as "The Redneck Riveria," and Scrapin' the Coast is one of the many reasons behind the name. Imagine, if you can, because believe me it's not pleasant, thousands of young men descending on one strip of highway, parking cars along the street, playing loud music, bass booming, lyrics unintelligible...Next imagine other men dragging the highway, stopping at traffic lights to squeal their tires so spectators, resembling contemporary cavemen, can hollar and blare fog horns.

Now imagine young women, who should find this behaviour repulsive, dressed scantily, swingin' around stripper poles, said cavemen have mounted in their truck beds. Sound like fun to you?

Now imagine, sweet Amber lying in her princess bed trying to sleep. What kind of thoughts do you think were running through sweet Amber's head? If you were thinking unkind, naughty thoughts involving rocket launchers and bull horns you would be correct.

This event had such an impression on me, I currently equate it with sleep deprivation, which is surprisingly a popular topic of conversation.

Imagine my surprise when Amanda's family members bragged about her cousin Adam's fortune of placing 1st at Scrapin' the Coast. Imagine the difficulty Amber experienced trying to express her congratulations to Adam who also owns a truck with E.T. painted on the hood and the truck bed.

Imagine how difficult it was for Amber to suppress her laughter and colorful commentary regarding "Grandpaw's Heartbeat E.T. II" displayed on the tail-gate of the truck.

If there's an E.T. II that implies there's an E.T. I, right? How can this be? How is it possible there are two E.T. trucks on this planet? Maybe the other exists on a planet far outside earth's orbit? I don't know.

If this is "Grandpaw's Heartbeat" does that mean E.T. I is "Grandmaw's?" Adam is not the original owner of E.T. II. Did the previous owner relinquish their ownership because something happened to Grandpaw? I don't know if these questions will ever be answered.

After "admiring" the truck's impressive paint job, the only thing I could manage to offer in all seriousness was, "if only it could fly."

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Thirty-One is Tons of Fun!

Wednesday I turned thirty-one. Hooray! I walked into work and found this surprise waiting for me on my desk. It's a yellow cake with chocolate-chip frosting. The Diamondhead symbol is the red design in the top-left corner.

Diamondhead is a planned community that began in the Eighties attracting NASA scientists working at Stennis Space Center. It's located in Hancock County, Mississippi and was the first area Amanda, Hugh and I surveyed.

Amanda and I LOVE DIAMONDHEAD; from the Polynesian-inspired architecture to the cool font on the water tower to the Playboy bunny stained glass window. Diamondhead is truly amazing!

In addition to my beautiful cake, Lisa, decorated my cubicle with streamers, confetti and tinsel. It was beautiful! I included this photo so my friends can see what my office area looks like. I am not permitted to bring visitors into the office and Stephanie has mentioned she would like to see where I work. Not impressive but I like it!
I asked Amanda to take a photo with the cake because everyone should know the genius behind this masterpiece. Thanks Amanda!

The workday kept getting better with lunch at Fergenes Pizza and flowers from Stephanie and Dad.

I will post more photos later. Just wanted to say thanks to all my friends and family for making my thirty-first birthday so wonderful!

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A Man I Love and Will Miss Dearly...

Tonight my Daddy called to tell me that my Uncle Flavous had passed away. My great-Aunt June, who is mentioned below, called with the news while my Dad was visiting my Grandma Kidd. I had hoped I would be able to visit Flavous one more time before he left us.

I HATE death. I HATE it so much! Why is everyone in my family, especially on my Mother's side, dying? The only people I have left who were connected to my Mother, by blood, are departing this life and there is absolutely nothing I can do about. Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how terrifying that is? Do you know how angry, sad and helpless that make me feel? I just wish I had more time but it seems like there is never enough. I wish my Mom would have taken us to more family reunions while we were kids. I wish we had lived closer to family and spent more time with our loved ones. I HATE that I never had/took the opportunity to tell Flavous how much I loved him and how grateful I am for his example of personal sacrifice, love of family and love of country. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his family or his country and everyone who knew Flavous understood that.

Flavous took our entire family to see Dionne Warwick in concert when I was five. He organized and executed every family reunion we had and he bought me Pammy Panda, which I still have and love. We often stayed with Flavous during family reunions and attended Labor Day parades where he was often recognized as a pillar of the community.

I am so sorry I did not know and could not be there to pay my respects to a man I truly honored. Wherever his soul resides I hope he is surrounded by loved ones who preceded him in death, my Mom especially, and his body has been restored to a perfect state.

His obituary from Northwest Tennessee Today

"Flavous P. “Paul” Elliott, 72, of Paducah, Ky., died June 24, 2009, (because everything significant in my life occurs on the 4th and 24th of the month) at Lourdes Hospital in Paducah.

His sister-in-law is June Elliott of South Fulton, TN. Graveside services will be 1 p.m. Saturday at Clark Cemetery (our family cemetery and where we will eventually inter my Mom) near Fulton, TN. Friends may call at Hornbeak Funeral Home in Fulton from 11 a.m. until time to go to the cemetery.

He was born February 20, 1937, in Hickman County, KY, son of the late Marvin H. and Alta Mae (Clark) Elliott. He was a decorated U.S. Army veteran of the Korean War and Vietnam Conflict and was a Disabled American Veterans service officer for many years. He was a member of American Legion Post 31 and Veterans of Foreign Wars and of Lone Oak (KY) First Baptist Church.

Survivors also include his daughter and son-in-law, Julie and Tony Peck of Paducah; two grandchildren, Tiffany Peck and Lezley Peck (who, sadly, I have never met), both of Paducah; and his sister, Doris Owens of Stone Mountain, GA.He was also preceded in death by four brothers, M.G. Elliott, Freeman Elliott, Reed Elliott (my Grandpa) and Norman Elliott."

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Cat Farm-Cat Farm! Life on the Cat Farm!

Unless you are a cat lover, life on the Cat Farm may not seem all that appealing, but, let me assure you, with Mary, Zu, Bart and Arnie around, there is never a dull moment.

The girls are great company. They are avid listeners and love to help.

A few days ago, Zu heard Dad mention he forgot to buy fertilizer for the garden. So what did she do? She strolled right over and personally fertilized the tomato plant. Unfortunately, she didn't get the response, I'm sure she was looking for, from Dad. I tried to persuade Dad Zu was just trying to help but when she pissed on the seed packets two days later, I believe Dad felt vindicated. That Zu!

Bart and Arnie are like feline Wonders of the World. I have never seen two cats more devoted to one another. They consistently weave their bodies around each other in this beautiful, fluid motion. Their behavior reminds me of Paolo and Francesca in Dante's Divine Comedy. Instead of lovers, Bart and Arnie are sisters, trapped in this completely dependent relationship that's totally reciprocal.

Dad thinks their behavior is a defense mechanism against predators like coyotes or dogs but I'm not certain I buy that. The coyotes have migrated to another area, for now, and there aren't really any dogs around either. I prefer to believe they are just special cats and we are lucky to have them with us. Dad does not appreciate cats the way I do and believes Bart and Arnie would be better off living elsewhere. If I get my way, Bart and Arnie will be a permanent fixture on the Cat Farm.

Life on the Cat Farm is not all work and no play. Zu and Mary love to join me for a nice afternoon on the deck where we stretch out and lie in the sun.

Zu loves to play hide and seek. She does this by sneaking under my beach towel whenever I'm not around. When I return and see a lump under my towel I call out, "Where's Zu?" Zu always waits a few seconds before peaking her head out from under the towel. I am going to miss that.

Mary Bear is still the model cat; skinny and elegant. She quietly struts around the place imposing her will subtly on anyone in her path. This month Mary and ZuZu celebrated their tenth (in human years) birthday. I can't believe they have been with us a decade. It seems like yesterday we were cuddling them in our hands, waiting for them to open their eyes. I hope they are with us for ten more. The Cat Farm would not be the same without them.

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Aaah, family.

I love Britain's Got Talent. My favorite act of the year? Stavros Flatly. Not familiar? Well, feel free to avail yourself.

Here is there initial performance:

And the semi-final one to follow!

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My New Snack Obsession

I have Rae Rae to thank for my love of these delightful gummy snacks. She purchased some during our road trip to The Grand Teton National Park and I have been enjoying their fruity flavors ever since. If you are searching for a yummy, low-calorie snack, reach for these. You won't regret it.

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Deep Thoughts

There is a hill on my Dad's farm I have designated as my thinking place. Every evening around 7pm I hike "my" hill. I sit and ponder the important questions of life, i.e. what does my life mean? Where am I going? What's my purpose? Am I doing what I was intended to do?

I don't think I have ever received a single answer to these questions but yesterday I did have an epiphany regarding male names I find acceptable for a future romantic partner.

I have already discussed this with Stephanie, however, I am curious to know if others have experienced similar thoughts or if I have totally lost my mind.

MY LIST OF ACCEPTABLE MALE NAMES...

Andrew-Every Andrew, Andy or Drew I have met or dated has been wonderful.

Sam-Sleepless in Seattle, need I say more?

Elliott-Every Elliott I know is intelligent and successful. It was also my Mother's maiden name.

Dan- I know a lot of good men named Dan. Also, Daniel Pearl is one of my heroes.

David- Never dated a David but I love David in the Old Testament because of his loyalty and humility.

Paul-I went out with a Paul at BYU. Not only was he handsome but very well-mannered

George-There are so many amazing men named George. I can't remember every meeting a George I didn't like.

Levi-I love Jewish men and this is one of the hottest Jewish names ever!

Palmer-I love Jimmy Palmer on NCIS. I know it's silly but I love it when they refer to him as Palmer instead of his first name, Jimmy.

Greene- Family name

Grey-Images of an academic in tweed, a bowtie and glasses come to mind. Sexy!

Graham-English bloke with scruffy hair, five o'clock shadow and a JCrew wardrobe. What more could a girl ask for?

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5.13.2009

Ms. Kenley Faith Davis entered the world and became the newest addition to the Davis family. Her mother, Brittany Webb Davis, was my favorite cousin on my Mom's side of the family. I always stayed with her family during our family reunions.

Kenley's older sister, Riley Grace, is cradling her in the photo below. It's obvious Riley is going to be a great big sis to little Kenley.

Congratulations to the Davis family and to Brittany, especially. I am so proud of you!

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A Few Things I Miss in Mississippi

Besides my condo, my bike, ballet, Whataburger (the store on Highway 49 is the best), the beach, my Primary kiddies, the few friends that I have there, the survey, and my laptop, here are a few photos of some other things I miss tonight...

My Barbie kite:

Amanda surprised me with the Barbie kite after a horrible workday. It was the perfect gift at the time for reasons I will not bother discussing. I have flown Barbie at least twice since March and hope we have many more days at the beach before the year ends.

Catching frogs:

I love catching frogs. I can't explain it. I just know I love it! They are so soft and harmless. I like to feel their little bodies expand and contract as their lungs fill with and release air. I also enjoy the way Jennifer reacts each time I catch one. The idea that a frog could rip someone's face off amuses me and I miss hearing her scream each time I approach her with one.

Jennifer:
Although she is only nine years my senior, Jennifer has become like a mother or an older sister, to me. Every evening when I ride my bike she faithfully waits and watches me from the parking lot until I return to the complex. She often walked me to my door and would stay for late night chats. I would give her candy and water and, in return, she would leave little flowers on my car or notes under my door.
She was always there in the morning waiting to send me off to work. Stephanie and Joy may remember Jennifer. She is wonderful to all my guests but is very protective of me when it comes to my male guests, not that I have very many.

For example, Jennifer warned Ben that he came over too late. Needless to say, that was the last time he watched movies at my apartment-EVER. I don't mind though. I'm just glad that she cares.
She is a great friend who makes living at The Ocean Club a little less lonely. I can't wait to see her again.

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Finally!!!

So! In order to post these I had to use a crappy file conversion program. Please don't judge on the quality of the photos!

Today Amber, Rae and I went on an adventure to Grand Teton National Park. And for the first time in my WHOLE OUTDOOR LIFE I saw a moose! Three, actually. They're so tall! I love them. Also, because they're moody--just like me. I think I've discovered my totem animal.

And we saw a grizzly. Right off the road! Amber hiked a big snow bank in flip-flops to get some shots. We were told she was 4-years-old! So cute! Yahoo for national parks!

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Dear Mom

Tonight is my last night in Biloxi. It's difficult, sometimes, to believe I have been here for fifty weeks. When I accepted the assignment last April, I promised Rhonda and myself, that I wouldn't stay longer than 90-days. Looking back I can't believe what a snot I was. Big City Girl does Mississippi and likes it. I think you would like it too. My condo is incredible, the sunsets are gorgeous and the weather is fantastic.

I decided to demobilize about a month ago. Initially, I was going to stay in Jackson and commute but decided against it. The more I thought about it, the better I felt about taking a break. I am so happy I made that decision.

I have spent the past two weeks saying my good-byes. Last night I put my ballet shoes on for the last time. Classes are finished for the year and will not begin again until August. Who knows where I will be by that time? Wherever I am, I hope to be in a studio resuming my classes. I love it. I always have.

Tonight I rode my bike around the cemetery one last time. I will miss the time I spend there. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone in your grief; that others are suffering like you are because they lost someone they loved too.

Tomorrow I will turn in my keys and rental car. From Gulfport I will fly to Atlanta and then on to Salt Lake City. Stephanie is driving down from Missoula, she is a saint, and will pick me up from the airport. She reserved us a room at the Marriott in downtown SLC because she wants our first two days there to be seamless.

On Friday, what should have been your 53rd birthday, Steph and I will go to the temple in the morning so I can participate in an ordinance on your behalf. Once complete, we will meet Desiree for lunch. Around 3pm Baby Rae, Kelly and Sarina will join us for another ordinance, which I will also perform on your behalf.

Last year, Shawna and Marlise met me in Savannah for your birthday. Since your passing I have wanted to do your temple work on your birthday. You always made our birthdays so special and I want to do the same for you. I can't think of a greater, more meaningful gift I could offer you. I know, I don't hope, I KNOW, because I know you, that you will accept it and be grateful for it. You have waited so long and I am so excited about this opportunity AND to think it almost didn't happen.

I was so worried but my dear Bishop, his name is George and his wife's name is Mary, you would absolutely love him, took care of everything. I love him so much. I would not be going to Salt Lake tomorrow if it wasn't for him. I honestly believe he is one of the reasons I am in Mississippi. He has lost so many loved ones and can understand me in ways very few people can. I will bless his name for the rest of my life.

While I was packing I discovered a piece of paper with a list of questions I jotted down a few months ago. It reads:

Why did Mom have to leave?

Does God really know me?

Does He really want what's best for me?

Does she, meaning you, miss me?

Although I don't know all the answers to these questions I believe God does know the desires of my heart. I have prayed, since the day I lost you, I would have this opportunity and it would happen on your birthday. Despite everything, God has provided a way and, honestly, I still can't believe it. I have not felt this much hope and true happiness in a long time. My only wish is that you could be there by my side. That when the work was complete I could throw my arms around you and we would both squeal and jump up and down like we used to do when we were happy or excited. Instead I will try to imagine you and Nancy doing what we would do if we were together; if I were with you.

Like my trip to Savannah, this trip, for me, will be about you. Stephanie, Sarina and I are driving up to Jackson Hole Saturday morning so we can see the Teton mountains; your favorite. I can't believe all the years I lived in Utah I never made it to Jackson Hole. Since you and Dad spent so much time there I have been curious to see it. I also wouldn't mind meeting someone while I'm there; a cowboy who looks amazing in a pair of Wranglers would be nice. I don't know how much pull you have up there but I've been REALLY good for a year and living like a nun is getting old. Not asking for much just a little, harmless, fun.

I love you Mom. I told Dad on Sunday there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you or him. I miss you so much it hurts; hurts like hell, but I know this separation is temporary. That one day I will see you again and you will still be my Mother and I will be your daughter. I wouldn't want it any other way. Until then...

I love you forever-

Sissy

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1700...

the approximate number of structures I surveyed in fifty-weeks. Pretty impressive for the first year of one's profession.

I'm really going to miss it. :(

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My parents are getting old.

There's plenty of hard evidence but none more so than how excited they get about birds at their feeders! I was in DC for three weeks caring for my Mom after surgery. I did not do one single, solitary tourist thing while I was there. I didn't set foot on The Mall. I didn't see a single museum. But I did buy a tripod and take pictures of birds. And some flowers. And a couple of cute kids. And now I'm just wondering what that says about me.

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If I Wasn't Celibate...

and we are talking WAY celibate; no dating, hand-holding, kissing or making-out with a man in almost ONE-YEAR! Yep, just call me CELIBATE SUZY because that's what I am.

What's even more depressing is the end to my hiatus is nowhere in sight. Light at the end of my tunnel? No. We're not even close.

The positive side, yes, I believe there actually is one, is the strange cravings and scary mood swings I've been experiencing this week can only mean one thing! See, that's the best part about living a chaste life. You never have pregnancy scares.

So order me another SMALL Blizzard and pass me another biscuit from Popeye's because this girl's only eating for ONE!

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Save Blair Mountain! Remember the Miners!

Yesterday I received an email from The National Trust for Historic Preservation. Included in the email was an article titled, One Step Forward, One Step Back? I have added personal commentary so my feelings regarding the issue are crystal clear.

The article read as follows:

"Two weeks ago, Blair Mountain in West Virginia, a 2006 11 Most Endangered site, was listed on the National Register of Historic Places, an important step forward for the preservation of this landmark c. 1921 coalfield labor battle site. (I wrote a paper for an American Studies Scopes & Methods course at GWU on the West Virginia coal wars and other contemporary labor struggles. The preservation of this site is a BIG deal to me). Within seven days,(that's ONE WEEK) West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin’s administration requested the site be de-listed. ) The National Trust for Historic Preservation and our local partners remain committed to preserving Blair Mountain Battlefield. (Thank goodness for that!)
Join us (me) in telling Governor Manchin that the site of the miners’ stand should be preserved." The petition is located here: http://my.preservationnation.org/site/Survey?SURVEY_ID=9860&ACTION_REQUIRED=URI_ACTION_USER_REQUESTS&autologin=true

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Farewell...

to Maurice Jarre, one of the greatest composers of the twentieth-century, if not of all time. Jarre composed scores for film classics Lawrence of Arabia, Dead Poets Society, School Ties,

Ghost and our family favorite Doctor Zhivago.

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Sharing is caring.

I can't wait until we get some clear days and I can camp again. I miss my glaciers!

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Just another reminder...

that nothing in life is free.

As many know, one of the perks of my current deployment, is I am offered a rotation every 35-45 days. My firm pays for airfare to Washington, because according to my records, that is my home. For this rotation I decided to stay at the Marriott Courtyard in Dunn Loring, adjacent to the condo I lived in my last year of graduate school.

The rooms are lovely but the mattress is so hard! I think I slept two-hours last night. It's fine, I'm not complaining. I rarely rest well in hotels.

This morning, when I finally willed myself to the lobby for complimentary breakfast, I have to admit, I was having difficulty seeing and thinking. This is the result of caffeine deficiency in my veins. Steph, Rae, Kate, just about everyone whose been around me in the A.M. is familiar with this phenomenon.

Anyway, I'm perusing the breakfast bar thinking life is good when I'm greeted by this perky hostess who invites me to have a seat. Life is getting better. The Universe is compensating me for enduring a horrible night and not complaining about it.

I sit down to a bagel, yogurt, Diet Coke and omelet, thinking, "This is the best darn breakfast bar I've ever had! I'm staying here again, no doubt about it," until perky hostess brings me the bill for $13.50. Yep. That's right! Are you shaking your heads in disbelief because that is exactly what I did.

I have never stayed at a hotel that didn't offer complimentary breakfast! But according to perky hostess this Marriott does not. Naturally, perky hostess pissed Amber off and got a concise lecture on the importance of communication and was informed this guest (that's me) would not be taking advantage of their "CONTINENTAL not COMPLIMENTARY" breakfast tomorrow morning.

So, let this be a warning to all you considering staying at the MARRIOTT COURTYARD in DUNN Loring, VA. If you are interested in a COMPLIMENTARY breakfast sans the perky hostess, this is not the hotel for you.

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"I, too, know the love of a tacitern man."

I made Amber a solemn promise to blog more this month. As it turns out, I don't have much to blog. I do, however, want to bear my testimony to all of you that co-habitation with a flavor of romance without any true commitment is a bad, bad idea.

I've registered to take a huge test in just under two months. I've got 6 text books to go through and know pretty damn well before I take it. On the up side, I know some of the information already.

Next weekend I'm going to see Freezeout Lake for my March Trip. Then, the weekend after, I head to a conference in Boise, Idaho which may have to count for April. Unless, of course, I decide to start camping early.

All this to avoid eating the fourth box of Thin Mints. Damn those Girl Scouts.

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Double O.M.A.

It's almost, if not, an exact copy of the ring Walter gives Annie at a Tiffany jewelry counter in the film classic Sleepless in Seattle. It has Classic Amber written all over it. I am positive it would look perfect on my hand and when I accrue an extra 4k it will be mine!

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The Bean Trees and Other Things

My Mother was a voracious reader. She loved it. In the morning we would begin our day by reading the local paper and end the day usually with a book in our hand.

As children she would read to us. She had this amazing ability to read a story while subtly adding her own commentary, just loud enough for us to hear. We would erupt in a fit of giggles and she would smile her mischievous grin before continuing. The books never changed but the way she told the story was anything but consistent. It was the anticipation, trying to guess how she would alter the characters or their dialogue, that I found most enjoyable.

Our love for reading never diminished. Even during our teens, when Josh and I were both busy juggling school, church and extra curricular activities, we were always reading something. I loved Victoria Holt while Joshie's favorite was Robert Jordan.

My Mother was always teasing me about my literary choices. She hated historical romances and couldn't understand why I didn't appreciate murder mysteries or medical mysteries more. I think Tony Hillerman was the first author I read that my Mom enjoyed. I remember how wonderful it was to discuss the characters, plot development and conclusion with her after I completed each book.

Although I still haven't read Robin Cook or Patricia Cornwell, as time progressed I did read other books she recommended and vice versa.

Our summers in Atlanta were spent by the pool reading, while our bodies baked in the sun. When we got too hot, we would lay aside our books and walk the shallow-end of the pool updating each other on our progress.

In the evenings we would walk the track and then peruse the library stacks for a new read. My Mother always used the local library. She rarely bought books and often nagged me about spending money on books that I could easily checkout from a library.

I have spent a lot of time reading since completing my graduate program and moving to Mississippi. Last night, as I often do on the weekends, I went to Barnes & Noble to find a new distraction. I recently finished my last Carol Goodman novel and wanted something a little different. I have been tempted to read books I remember my Mother enjoying before, but somehow felt it was too painful. However, passing a copy of Barbara Kingslover's The Bean Tree, a book my Mother loved, I thought, "Why not? Why not read a book my Mother liked?" So that is what I am reading now and so far, I like it. I'm not sure I completely relate to Taylor, the story's main character, but I like the idea of being an independent woman, who leaves everything familiar to her to find herself. In some ways I feel that is what I am doing here; finding myself and hopefully, when it's all said and done, I will find someone I like.

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Variety is a virtue. Or patience is. I can't keep my cousins straight.

Tonight I was hanging out at my brothers house talking about something our Mother did when my sister called in response to a Facebook post our other sister authored when my Grandma appeared on call waiting to listen to my niece make new noises. And I didn't think it was odd because most days are like that for me.

My family isn't really all that sane. We're not really all that 'same' either. As I get closer to the end of my education I'm faced with the strong possibility that I'll have to leave my beloved Montana and work elsewhere for a time. Had you asked me when I was 14 I would have slit my wrists at the idea of having this much family this close. At 31, however, it's difficult to imagine my life without the daily interaction.

So if you're 14 and you're thinking 'What a sicko.' I say until you, "Just you wait, kiddo."

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P'Birds and Cupcakes

My first Sunday as the CTR-8 Primary instructor started off with hugs, my reward for bringing cupcakes, and a discussion on the steps of the repentance process. My objective as the CTR-8 teacher is to prepare the students for baptism. I am sure there are plenty of people in the ward more qualified than myself, but I am so excited about this opportunity to be apart of their lives at such an important time for them; a time, I hope they will never forget.

There are four boys and four girls in my class. Beginning with the back row from left to right, there is Landon, Ian, Blake and Samuel, who also goes by Sam or Sammy.

On the front row, seated from left to right are, Samantha, who we are calling Sam or Sammy now, McKayla, Samantha, and Emely.

While we were discussing making wrong choices and the consequences of doing such, Samuel raised his hand and informed me that Blake was not a nice boy. I was quick to defend Blake whose head was hanging down in shame.

"I am sure that's not true," I said. "Blake seems like a really nice boy."

"Well, he's not," Samuel argued. "I've been to his house and he kicked me in the P'bird!"

Startled I managed, "The femur?" hoping I had misunderstood Samuel.

"No! The P'bird," Samuel repeated while pointing to the zipper on his pants.

"Oh!" I said, followed by something lame about how discussing P'birds or other private parts in Primary was not cool. The conversation did not end there.

McKayla's hand shoots up as she blurts out, "My brother talks about nasty stuff like that all the time, but I don't talk about that stuff."

"That's good," I encourage her good behavior." Then out of curiosity I ask, "how old is your brother?"

"He's six."

If things are this good on the first day I can't wait for what's next.

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Oh, Mardi Gras. How I miss thee.

Amber and I had the best time together at Mardi Gras. I can't begin to tell you how fun. We're totally going back next year! We spent most of the time in Mobile, Alabama at their celebrations. Which were AMAZING! The first night, however, was spent in Ocean Springs. What a cute city! I loved Amber's condo and I can't believe that I don't go there EVERY DAY to visit her.

We did spend one day at Bellingrath Gardens which was preceded by the best donuts second only to Spudnuts in Richland, Washington. The gardens were awesome. I think anyone who goes to Biloxi to visit her should take a gander. Here are some shots from our time there.

The parades were, by far, my favorite part of things. They're so much fun! I had no idea one could get so worked up over beads--but you can. Amber and I ended up going to several though not nearly as many as we will in 2010. Our pile of booty looked like this when we were done...

We also had oysters together--and yum!

It's just so fantastic to have time with Boo doing the fun things we enjoy. But next year is going to be even better. I'm pretty sure we're going to rent and RV and just stay right in Mobile. We'll see. But reserve your seat now!!

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News...

I have been reminded, can mean many things. It can be delivered and received in various ways too. I love news! When I returned from my mission I did not feel comfortable watching anything on television but the news.
One of the first questions my friends or family members, often ask during our conversations is "So, Amber, what's new?" or "Got any news to share?" My answer is usually the same, "Not really," or "Nothing new here," to be followed by a return of the initial question "What's new with you?"
This weekend it seems everyone has news to share. A friend called Friday night to update me about the good news in her life. I always enjoy talking to this friend and I was happy to hear things were going well for her.
Saturday I treated the Elders to dinner. Over dinner one of the Elders shared the news that he was in love with a girl and wanted to marry her after he completed his mission in December. After listening to the story of how he met and barely knew the object of his desire, I received the news with frustration. How could men be so stupid? How can anyone truly love someone they do not really know?
This morning during Sacrament meeting Ben turned to me and said, "I have something to tell you." Trying to be the model of support I responded, "What is it you would like to tell me?"
Although I suspected he was dating someone, perhaps a local he met at the gym or some club, instead he shared, "I think I'm in love." Needless to say, I was shocked. In my stupor all I could think to say was, "Oh?!"
Ben, who I previously considered a rational being, relates to me that he thinks he's in love with a girl, I refer to her as a girl because she is not old enough to be anything other than just that, saw him one-year ago in the testing center at BYU. (Do I hear groans? I think I hear groaning but hold on, it gets better.) This girl notices his name written on his Blue Book and decides, one year later, to look him up on Facebook because she just can't get him out of her mind. In typical BYU fashion, this girl has a missionary who returns in May and is also named Ben.
I am not sure what reaction Ben was expecting from me as he related this story but I am afraid I failed to deliver the one he desired. When he asked for my opinion all I could say was, "I think it sounds disturbing," and to me it does. How could he be so nonchalant about something so serious? How could he throw around a concept, like love, ascribing it to an individual he has never even met?
The same thing happened to me last year the day after Valentine's Day. I went to lunch with a man who I had been spending time with and I cared about. Over lunch he told me he could no longer see me because he felt prompted to pursue a woman, with five children, who attended his parents' ward in Utah who he'd met before but whose name he did not know.
Since that incident I have met several men who have pursued and even married women they barely knew. Which leads me to another conversation I had today with a former friend.
Tom, who Joy and Kelli had the pleasure of meeting, was someone I hung out with once or twice. We also sat together in church. We were not dating but to be honest, I had hoped we would eventually. He was 34 at the time and I thought it was fortunate we were close in age and had a few things, besides our religious beliefs, in common. Everything, from my perspective, was going well. I evacuated for Gustav last August (I was away for five days, I think). By the time I returned Tom had met and decided to marry a nineteen-year old Seabee who had just transferred to Biloxi from North Carolina. Call me blind or clueless but I couldn't believe it. I was stunned. How could someone meet, court and marry someone within the space of a few weeks? My friend called to tell me, "the happy news," Tom's wife is pregnant. Am I happy for them? Absolutely. I want everyone I care about to be happy, even if their decided route to happiness means I am unhappy for a little while.
I know there's a reason why I have been single this long; why I'm unable to meet someone that approaches love and relationships the way I do. However, I do not understand why I am meeting so many men, during a time in my life when I am not feeling very patient, who are complete idiots when it comes to relationships. I do not wish to sound critical, and please forgive me if I do, but HELLS BELLS, is this really how marriage happens? A man just sees you and decides on the spot you are or are not "the one?!!!" Please tell me the process of meeting and falling in love, for a man, involves more logic than this. Please, tell me the man I will eventually marry, will not decide in one glance, without investing the time it will require to really know me, that I am "the one." I do not believe I could ever devote my life to someone if that is what a man's love is based upon.
Normally, the decisions and actions of others, especially casual acquaintances, do not matter so much to me, but thinking about this tonight, I can not help but wonder and in doing so, feeling a little discouraged about the possibility of having a relationship with a man that is... real and based on something more than an initial feeling or attraction.
Does anyone have any thoughts or advice to offer?

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Like Father Like Daughter

And people wonder where I get it from. Duh!

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World Famous Shucker!

Amber and I met Russell yesterday at our pre-parade dinner in Mobile, Alabama. He was fantastic!! My favorite quote from the day was when Amber said to the guys behind the counter, "Don't oysters make you sleepy?!" They just laughed knowingly and replied, "They make you want to go to bed but not because you're sleepy!"

More Mardi Gras soon!

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President's Day Holiday

Last weekend we celebrated two calendar holidays; Valentine's Day and President's Day. Although I was happily solitaire for the former I had an enjoyable, baby-filled day for the latter.

Last month my gorgeous friend Clara, from Mobile, welcomed the new addition to the Fisher family; Anderson Michael. Although Mobile is only an hours drive from Biloxi, I had not met Mr. Anderson. So, when Clara called saying she was on her way to Biloxi, with baby, I was excited.

Since Amanda and I had scheduled lunch, Clara and Anderson joined us for Japanese at Sakura. I have been wanting a picture with the Sumo cut-out for some time and chose to seize the moment on our way out.

I tried to persuade Amanda and Clara to pose for a photo but only Anderson was interested in facing the camera. I love this photo! Babies are so fun!

After lunch Clara and I took Anderson for his first stroll on the beach. He's such a good baby and handsome too! I look forward to more outings with Anderson and his Mommy.
After Clara and Anderson left, I joined the Flake family for family night. We had a terrific lesson on friendship, followed by Valentine Bingo and brownies a la mode.
I returned home around 8pm exhausted. The emotional and physical reservoir mothers exhibit never ceases to amaze me. Kudos to mothers and hooray for baby-filled holidays.

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Dear Andrea

Jason notified me last week of your passing. The obituary in the Richmond Register listed the following information:

Andrea Wong, age 30, (Andrea and I were born nine days apart) went to be with the Lord January 30th (exactly one year, to the day, that my Mother passed) following a brief respiratory illness.

Andrea received a B.S. in Psychology from EKU (my Mother also attended EKU) in 2000 where she graduated Magna Cum Laude, she also held an office in the Delta Zeta Sorority. (Prior to attending EKU, Andrea attended Foley Middle and Madison Southern High School where she was a cheerleader, member of the drama club and Homecoming Queen). She was a musical vocalist, photographer and avid golfer. (Andrea and I, in addition to cheering together, played on the same golf team). Andrea has touched the lives of many (including my own) with her warm personality and she will be greatly missed.

Funeral services will be Friday, February 6th, 2009 at 1:00 p.m. at Lakes Funeral Home (Berea, KY). Burial will be in the Berea Cemetery (my Mother is also interred here). Visitation will be Thursday, February 5th from 6pm-9pm at Lakes Funeral Home.

I am so sorry I will not be able to attend. I sent flowers but somehow its not enough. So many of our classmates are planning to attend your services. You were loved by so many. I hope you knew that. We have lost so many people from our class. I can't believe we are saying goodbye to you.

I am sorry I never thanked you for signing my Mother's online guestbook last year. It meant so much to me that you took the time to recognize my loss. If you see my Mother, give her a big hug for me. She will be happy to see you, I'm sure. I can't wait to see you again.

Love-
Amber

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Yesterday...

I attended the temple for the first time in almost two years, with the exception of Desiree's sealing (December 2007). Arriving early, I was able to sit for some time quietly. One of the greatest blessings of the temple is the feeling of peace it brings. I have felt peace and comfort since my Mother died but I can not remember one instance within the past year that remotely compares with the experience I enjoyed yesterday.

Although I miss attending the DC temple, I am excited about living in a new temple district. I have already become acquainted with the Baton Rouge Temple President, Max Brough, and his wife. Max is also the brother of Elder Monte J. Brough who attended our ward in Lilburn, Georgia.

Although New Orleans is closer, Baton Rouge is pedestrian friendly with impressive commercial and residential architecture. I look forward to exploring the former location of the Red Stick Indians; Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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