arrived early to the Bluegrass this year. Following a mild winter, an answer to prayers, Kentucky experienced unseasonably warm temperatures for this time of year. Winter normally stretches its icy fingers into March but not this year! One week snow and ice blanketed the ground followed by a week of sunshine and blue skies.

Labor Day weekend I met Joshie and Lauren in Atlanta for the Erasure concert at Center Stage. Before the show we grabbed dinner at the Vortex. If you enjoy a good burger in a place with

great atmosphere visit the Vortex! Trust me, you won't regret it.

We arrived early and were able to be up front the entire show. Josh and Lauren even touched Andy Bell, Erasure's lead vocalist, who began the show wearing a helmet and red blazer.

Keeping with tradition Andy shed his helmet and red jacket bearing his buff arms for the crowd.

I attended the Hoover Ward for the first time since moving to Birmingham. I found it interesting Relief Society is scheduled the first hour and Sacrament meeting is the third. I was not aware wards still did that.

On the front of the Sacrament meeting program was printed a quote by Elder Dallin H. Oaks I wanted to share it.

"The Savior reminds us that faith, no matter how strong it is, cannot produce a result contrary to the will of him whose power it is. The exercise of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always subject to the order of heaven, to the goodness and will and wisdom and timing of the Lord. That is why we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord's will and in the Lord's timing. When we have that kind of faith and trust in the Lord, we have true security in our lives. President Spencer W. Kimball said, 'Security is not born of inexhautible wealth but of unquenchable faith.'"

So many thoughts came to mind when I read this quote. I have since pondered its meaning and how it applies to my life. I have questioned the Lord's will, His wisdom, and His timing. At times, I have even questioned the goodness of His plan. Yet reviewing certain aspects of my life I am so grateful my faith, no matter how strong or how inadequate, could not produce a result contrary to God's will for me. I am certain He, out of His love, has spared me much heartache and regret because He knew what was best and denied me blessings I thought I desired above all else. Although it is difficult for me to trust, I am grateful to God for times when I am able to glimpse His love and understand His ways truly are higher than my own.

I love makeup. I do. I love testing it. I love talking about it. I love buying it and I love wearing it. I am also a creature of habit. Once I find something that works I stick with it. For example, I have been wearing the same shade and type of powder since high school. Unfortunately, I have not had the same luck finding a blush that works for me. Since puberty, every blush I brushed across my cheeks left behind a trail of acne. Yuck!

That ended last weekend when I purchased a compact of Chanel's Joues Contraste blush. The shade is Rose Petale and I love it. I have been wearing it for over a week and so far...it works!

A colleague suggested I try Chanel when I told her about my experience with blush breakouts. Her daughter, who has a skin condition, wears Chanel because it is the only makeup that works for her skin.

So...if you're looking for makeup that works for sensitive skin, search no further than your closest Chanel counter. Your pocketbook might regret it but your skin won't.

Every day Lauren sends me a photo of Baby Jett. Although they could never compare to being with him, these photos have become the highlight of my day. Today I received this photo of Jett, taken to commemorate his first day by the pool.

If he's anything like his father, Jett will be a fish in the water. If he's anything like his Aunt Amboo he will love being in the sun. I wish I could have been with him today. I keep telling myself I am working hard now so I will have more time with him later. I may be wrong but I pray I'm right. That our future will be filled with days like this...in the sun.

Last Saturday I crossed the Edmund Pettus Bridge into Selma, Alabama, a place I have longed to see since childhood. Stopping at the National Park Service Welcome Center we spoke to a wonderful park ranger who told us about a short film, which we decided to skip, and pointed out a display of books available for purchase regarding Selma's history. Perusing the shelf's contents, I couldn't help but think of RaeRae and how, if she had been with me, she would have purchased one or two to read the remainder of the trip.
Although Selma has many wonderful buildings, far too many to photograph in a single day, we decided to spend time at a historic cemetery located on the outskirts of town. We walked the entire cemetery admiring the unique grave markers and the Spanish Moss hanging from the trees. I love Spanish Moss and was very disappointed by the lack of it on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Spanish Moss has always been mysterious and romantic, to me. It's wonderful living in an area so rich in history and natural beauty. Guess that's why its known as "Alabama the Beautiful."
Above, are photos showing two of my favorite grave markers in the cemetery. The last marker is unlike any other I have seen before. An iron fence surrounded the grave plot and a stone, engraved with the family name, marked the threshold beneath the entry gate. One day I would love to hire a stone mason to carve a beautiful and unique marker for my mother. Until then, I will continue to admire markers these standing memorials of past lives and love.

Today we celebrated Mother's Day by having dinner at Mellow Mushroom with Lauren, Joshie and Jett. Did you know you have a grandson? You do. He is the cutest, smartest little man and he has captured our hearts.

At seven weeks he rolled over for the first time last night. Did I mention he is strong too? He has Joshie's chin but he's super long. His pants are big in the waste but short in the legs. I am praying he will be a UK basketball player some day. I already tease Joshie that Jett's going to be taller than him someday.

Although he has a few "friends" his favorite appears to be Worm. Worm makes several noises and, is now, shorter than Jett. He also enjoys watching the lights flash and blink on the star attached to the arch above his Baby Einstein mat.

Every time I am with him I can't help but think, "Mom should be here. Mom would love him and Jett would love Mom." You are missing out on so much. I wonder if you know?

In April I attended the Atlanta Temple Open House with Pamela McKinney Smith, your friend from high school. She contacted me on Facebook last year and we have been corresponding since. She is wonderful. I had a great time talking with her and she brought me your high school yearbook from your Senior year. I had no idea your nickname was "Dr. J." Joshie, Lauren and I had a few laughs looking at all the pictures. I wish you could have been with us.
The coolest thing, I think, about the closing, renovation and rededication of the Atlanta Temple was the temple was closed on my birthday and rededicated on your birthday. I wanted to be there so badly for the rededication but it wasn't meant to be. Instead I went to church and then to the cemetery. Since you passed I have tried celebrating your birthday in a fun and meaningful way. Last year I went to Gulf Shores where I got food poisoning. This year wasn't much better. I think from now on I just need to accept the fact that May 1 is going to suck for the rest of my life. Don't worry. I can handle it.
I just wanted to let you know this Mother's Day and every day I love you, I miss you and wish more than anything you could be with us.
Love you forever-
Sissy

For the past three years Dad's friends, Eek and Meek, have been regular fixtures on the Cat Farm during the planting and harvest seasons. There are two gardens on the farm. One is located behind the barn and the other is located behind the house. Initially, Eek and Meek planted the back garden and we planted the front. No matter what, Eek and Meek always helped us with our garden and vice versa. Due to Meek's health, Dad switched garden plots with the duo last summer so they wouldn't have to walk as far. Despite the distance, you could still find Eek and Meek in the back garden helping Dad weed or pick veggies.

Since last summer, Meek's health has improved. Unfortunately, his brother Eek is in poor health. We pray this will change and both will be around for long time.

I didn't identify Eek or Meek in the photo above. Can you guess which is which?

is missing. Doctor Long shaved Lil' Bit's belly and sections of her front legs during her operation last month. Lil' Bit joined her older sissies, Mary and Zu, in the big girl's club when she was spayed last month following her miscarriage of two kittens. We all agree Lil' Bit is too little to carry kittens and to prevent further heartache we decided it was time.

Lil' Bit is the first female feline we've spayed whose legs have been shaved during surgery. In my opinion, she resembles a poodle which has prompted the nickname "poodle cat." In an effort to document this awkward time in her life I took this photo. I will always remember it as a time when bits of my Lil' Bit were missing.

My Dad is a fan of lawn ornaments. I am not sure where this comes from but he has a few positioned at various locations around the porch. These lawn ornaments were acquired when we lived in Lilburn where they were stood around our swimming pool. Josh and I tease these ornaments are Dad's "little friends," which I'm sure Dad does not care for but goes along with anyway.

This maiden once stood in the center of a bird bath. I have to admit, I was not a huge fan of the bird bath or the "naked" lady (Josh and I realized the maiden was clothed but teased Dad she was naked anyway) that adorned our front lawn. Over time, however, I enjoyed watching the birds roll in the dirt, only to hop in the bath water to cleanse their feathers.

I'm not sure what happened to the bird bath, but the maiden is still with us. Standing on a tree stump at the base of our steps, she is a displaced maiden, stripped of purpose, sans the bath. In a moment of spontaneity I decided to photograph her. Of all the lawn ornaments, she is my favorite. I'm not sure how long she will be with us but none of us will ever forget Dad's "naked" lady in the bath.

Precious baby boy. You joined our family six weeks ago transforming lives and hearts the moment you entered our world. Everything about you is miraculous. Since I've been home we've spent a lot of time together. I have enjoyed every second, excluding yesterday when you spit up on my crotch and then urinated on my side giving me the look and smell of a hobo who walks around wearing black sweats with a huge white patch on the crotch, leaving all who see the bizarre location of this stain questioning how and why its located "there." No worries. I don't blame you. I'll blame your Dad. :)

Everything about you is getting bigger. Your hands and feet, your smiles, your legs and arms, and much to my dismay, your poop. Luckily, I have only changed one of your poopy diapers but, let me tell you son, one is enough. Please don't ever poop on my watch again.

Apart from the dirty diapers and spit up, you are an absolute delight. Your birth was like a catalyst resulting in a resurrection of life for our family. After three years of loss and, what seems continual grief, you have given us a reason to rejoice and, for that, I will always be grateful.

I love you little man. I have enjoyed spending this past month with you, watching you grow and develop. Your parents love you dearly and absolutely want the best for you in all things. Always remember that. Your Aunt Amber is the coolest member of the family outside of your parents. Always remember that too.

Heart and Soul-

A.A.

After spending Easter weekend in West Virginia visiting family, Dad and I stopped by my Aunt Linda's house on our way home.

Ginger, Linda's daughter, lives close to her mother and dropped by so we could see Allison and Brian Parker. Allison is in pre-school and Brian Parker is nine months old. A year had passed since I had seen Allison and although she's grown, she's still the same sassy, classy girl I remembered.

We talked about everything from dinosaurs, to Disney princesses, to her three-story Barbie house (complete with an elevator), to art (which is her favorite subject in school) to future career ambitions, which currently include becoming an astronaut or vet, I think.

Last fall, Allison was a cheerleader and is very good at it. She is also a very good big sister who is surprisingly generous when it comes to sharing her toys with Parker. She also tells her brother she loves him often. Needless to say, Brian Parker is a very lucky little man.

Before leaving I decided to take a few photos of the adorable duo. This photo (below) is my favorite. Joshie and I had a red Radio Flyer wagon but it wasn't as fancy as Allison's. Instead of plastic ours was comprised of wood and metal. It definitely did not have a fold-up seats that offered back supports. Modern toys are nice but I prefer eighties vintage classics.
The idea of planning a family reunion was also discussed. In the last year, three baby boys have been added to the Kidd family, i.e. Brian Parker, Alec (pretty sure that's his name), and Jett. It's nice Jett will have so many cousins, close in age, to play with at family functions. Reunion or not, I look forward to the day when Jett, Allison and Parker can play together.

This afternoon I discovered the desk I used as a child sitting in the corner of the apartment below our farmhouse. Tokens of my childhood were stored inside. An envelope addressed to myself, with the warning "Don't read until you are 18," caught my attention. I gingerly opened the envelope to find a letter I had written to myself seventeen years ago to fulfill a Personal Progress goal. Dated September 13, 1993 it reads:


Dear Amber,





I've just been looking through my Personal Progress and I chose to write a letter. You shouldn't read this unless you are eighteen. Right now I'm 15 yrs of age and I'm pretty sure my plans for the future are going to stay the same but they may change. After I graduate from high school I plan to attend BYU for my pre-med. My major will be biology and my minor will be drama. After I graduate from BYU, I plan to attend the U of Chicago to get my degree in Cardiology.


Hopefully, I will graduate with honors and then find a good paying job so I can help my husband support my family.


I want to have only 2-4 children and I've already picked one boy name and it is Coty. I love that name and it will be appropriate if we live out West.


Spiritually, I hope my testimony will grow and strengthen and that one day I'll be able to teach Young Women like my teachers teach me. I love going to church and I'm glad my brother has the chance to pass the sacrament. One day I want to be able to say that I have lived a good life and Heavenly Father would be proud of me.


Well I guess I should close. Thanks for remembering to read this letter and good luck on your journey to womanhood.





Love,


Amber



Obviously, my life has evolved into something quite different than what I planned. I did, however, graduate from BYU but not with a degree in biology. I did obtain a secondary degree but not in Cardiology. For three years I had a fantastic paying job but am not sure how much longer that will last. I have not married and do not have 2-4 children, "only."
Although, my life didn't turn out as I planned, the life I have is not a bad life. However, I wonder if my fifteen year old self would be disappointed or pleasantly surprised at the life my thirty-two year old self is living. I guess I'll never know.

For over a decade I have been searching for information regarding my cousins who are pictured in the photo above. They are my Uncle Danny's children. Unfortunately, Uncle Danny has been estranged from his ex-wife and children for over a decade and is mum when it comes to their personal information which is essential in locating them. I thought about posting these photos on Facebook to see if any of my LDS friends might recognize them but decided to try blogging first. This is the information I have, which is not much.

My Uncle Danny married Loisann Bierman in the Los Angeles Temple. Loisann was from the Los Angeles area. I have no idea how they met since Danny did not attend a church school or university and grew up in Georgia. They had six children. They are from oldest to youngest:

Kerry "Harrison" Elliott

Clairalyn Elliott

Jeremy Jason Elliott

Benjamin Elliott

Valerie Elliott

Sherilyn Elliott

It is rumored they may have changed their last names when their parents divorced. They may have adopted their mother's maiden name, Bierman, or taken the name of a step father. That remains unclear. It is also believed Loisann and the children resided in the Chattanooga, TN area during the mid-to-late 1990's. Despite my efforts I have discovered very little.

If anyone has any information regarding these individuals, my cousins, I would appreciate the opportunity to contact them and renew my relationship with them.

about seeing the Pointer Sisters in concert tonight! I am less than an hour away from hearing hits like Automatic, Fire, Jump, Slow Hand, and Neutron Dance. Hits my Mother played by the pool, in the car and especially during road trips. She loved them and I love them too. Their songs remind me of the fun we used to have and good memories we created together. I wanted to see them in concert but this is really for my Mom who didn't have the opportunity in life but who I pray will be with me in spirit.

Not only is he a great father he is a terrific Grandfather. I'm sure there will be many more but I love this picture for several reasons. This picture was taken after I had tried to comfort Jett, who was only fussy because he was hungry. As soon as I picked him up Dad was insistent I hand him over so he could hold him. I have to admit I was a little surprised. It was my last evening with Jett and I assumed I would have preference. Dad is so good with him though. I can already tell Jett loves him and there is no doubt the feeling is absolutely mutual.

Although I am not thrilled about being released from my current assignment, I am looking forward to spending time with my Dad and Baby Jett. It will be so nice taking Neville for walks each day, hanging out with Mary, Zu and Little Bit, planting the garden, and feeding the catfish. I am also looking forward to hanging out with Joshie and Lauren.

Kentucky is such a beautiful state, rich in history and culture. I am fortunate to have such a beautiful home to return to. I am also grateful to have a father whose willing to welcome me home no matter what my circumstance.

I love you Dad!

Allow me to introduce you to the students in the Sunday School class I taught until yesterday. From L-R: Savannah, Natalie, Michael, William (Will), and Addie. Savannah is Natalie's friend and was just visiting for the day. Two of my students are not present in the photo. I could brag on them but I'll spare you. Simply put, I will miss them.

(Front)

Last night at Craft Club we made Mug Rugs. A Mug Rug is a smaller, quilted version of a place mat; large enough to place a mug and a snack on but, again, smaller than a place mat. The quilting style is a more contemporary form fashioned after Japanese paper placement. I'm not exactly sure what that means but it sounded good when I heard it. This quilting style is more flexible. You don't have to sew in straight lines or cut the fabric a certain size. Anything goes! For someone who has difficulty with both its a great alternative to traditional quilting.

I found the fabric at Hobby Lobby. They were arranged in fat stacks. I had to buy four fat stacks in order to get all the patterns I wanted, which means I have a lot of fabric left to make many more Mug Rugs. Unfortunately, I don't have a sewing machine to make them with. I think, however, I will add a sewing machine to my Christmas wish list for 2011 so I can practice making Mug Rugs whenever I wish.

If you are interested in making one for your home, tutorials are available through the internet. One that I found interesting is located http://www.ryanwalshquilts.com/2010/11/dresden-wedges-mug-rug-tutorial-bliss.html.

Happy sewing!

(Back)

Friday night I had dinner at Ralph Brennan's Red Fish Grill on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. As the sign boasts, Red Fish has been voted the best seafood restaurant four years in a row, and for good reason. I had the best fish I have ever eaten in my life at this restaurant on Friday night.

I ordered the signature dish, the Red Fish. It was absolute perfection. The blend of spices and flavors made every bite delightful. I used to eat pizza every time I went to NOLA but I'm afraid after Friday my heart belongs on Bourbon at the Red Fish. It's just that good.

The atmosphere was fun. The manager, Brent Applewhite, was attentive to our every need and the service was spot on. I couldn't have asked for a better experience.

So, the next time you're in the Big Easy and looking for a bite to eat. Walk on over to Bourbon Street for a dining experience that is hard to beat. If its a Saturday afternoon, you just may see me there. Bon Appetit!