If Only It Could Fly...

Over virgin strawberry daiquiris Amanda invited me to attend her family's cookout in St. Rose, Louisiana in celebration of the Fourth. At first I wasn't sure if I should accept or reject her generous invitation. I worked Friday, one of two souls in the entire office, and I am still trying to catch-up on much needed sleep.

My sleep deprivation began three-weeks ago with Scrapin' the Coast and has continued for various reasons since. Allow me to explain Scrapin' the Coast.

The Gulf Coast is often referred to as "The Redneck Riveria," and Scrapin' the Coast is one of the many reasons behind the name. Imagine, if you can, because believe me it's not pleasant, thousands of young men descending on one strip of highway, parking cars along the street, playing loud music, bass booming, lyrics unintelligible...Next imagine other men dragging the highway, stopping at traffic lights to squeal their tires so spectators, resembling contemporary cavemen, can hollar and blare fog horns.

Now imagine young women, who should find this behaviour repulsive, dressed scantily, swingin' around stripper poles, said cavemen have mounted in their truck beds. Sound like fun to you?

Now imagine, sweet Amber lying in her princess bed trying to sleep. What kind of thoughts do you think were running through sweet Amber's head? If you were thinking unkind, naughty thoughts involving rocket launchers and bull horns you would be correct.

This event had such an impression on me, I currently equate it with sleep deprivation, which is surprisingly a popular topic of conversation.

Imagine my surprise when Amanda's family members bragged about her cousin Adam's fortune of placing 1st at Scrapin' the Coast. Imagine the difficulty Amber experienced trying to express her congratulations to Adam who also owns a truck with E.T. painted on the hood and the truck bed.

Imagine how difficult it was for Amber to suppress her laughter and colorful commentary regarding "Grandpaw's Heartbeat E.T. II" displayed on the tail-gate of the truck.

If there's an E.T. II that implies there's an E.T. I, right? How can this be? How is it possible there are two E.T. trucks on this planet? Maybe the other exists on a planet far outside earth's orbit? I don't know.

If this is "Grandpaw's Heartbeat" does that mean E.T. I is "Grandmaw's?" Adam is not the original owner of E.T. II. Did the previous owner relinquish their ownership because something happened to Grandpaw? I don't know if these questions will ever be answered.

After "admiring" the truck's impressive paint job, the only thing I could manage to offer in all seriousness was, "if only it could fly."

Thirty-One is Tons of Fun!

Wednesday I turned thirty-one. Hooray! I walked into work and found this surprise waiting for me on my desk. It's a yellow cake with chocolate-chip frosting. The Diamondhead symbol is the red design in the top-left corner.

Diamondhead is a planned community that began in the Eighties attracting NASA scientists working at Stennis Space Center. It's located in Hancock County, Mississippi and was the first area Amanda, Hugh and I surveyed.

Amanda and I LOVE DIAMONDHEAD; from the Polynesian-inspired architecture to the cool font on the water tower to the Playboy bunny stained glass window. Diamondhead is truly amazing!

In addition to my beautiful cake, Lisa, decorated my cubicle with streamers, confetti and tinsel. It was beautiful! I included this photo so my friends can see what my office area looks like. I am not permitted to bring visitors into the office and Stephanie has mentioned she would like to see where I work. Not impressive but I like it!
I asked Amanda to take a photo with the cake because everyone should know the genius behind this masterpiece. Thanks Amanda!

The workday kept getting better with lunch at Fergenes Pizza and flowers from Stephanie and Dad.

I will post more photos later. Just wanted to say thanks to all my friends and family for making my thirty-first birthday so wonderful!

A Man I Love and Will Miss Dearly...

Tonight my Daddy called to tell me that my Uncle Flavous had passed away. My great-Aunt June, who is mentioned below, called with the news while my Dad was visiting my Grandma Kidd. I had hoped I would be able to visit Flavous one more time before he left us.

I HATE death. I HATE it so much! Why is everyone in my family, especially on my Mother's side, dying? The only people I have left who were connected to my Mother, by blood, are departing this life and there is absolutely nothing I can do about. Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how terrifying that is? Do you know how angry, sad and helpless that make me feel? I just wish I had more time but it seems like there is never enough. I wish my Mom would have taken us to more family reunions while we were kids. I wish we had lived closer to family and spent more time with our loved ones. I HATE that I never had/took the opportunity to tell Flavous how much I loved him and how grateful I am for his example of personal sacrifice, love of family and love of country. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his family or his country and everyone who knew Flavous understood that.

Flavous took our entire family to see Dionne Warwick in concert when I was five. He organized and executed every family reunion we had and he bought me Pammy Panda, which I still have and love. We often stayed with Flavous during family reunions and attended Labor Day parades where he was often recognized as a pillar of the community.

I am so sorry I did not know and could not be there to pay my respects to a man I truly honored. Wherever his soul resides I hope he is surrounded by loved ones who preceded him in death, my Mom especially, and his body has been restored to a perfect state.

His obituary from Northwest Tennessee Today

"Flavous P. “Paul” Elliott, 72, of Paducah, Ky., died June 24, 2009, (because everything significant in my life occurs on the 4th and 24th of the month) at Lourdes Hospital in Paducah.

His sister-in-law is June Elliott of South Fulton, TN. Graveside services will be 1 p.m. Saturday at Clark Cemetery (our family cemetery and where we will eventually inter my Mom) near Fulton, TN. Friends may call at Hornbeak Funeral Home in Fulton from 11 a.m. until time to go to the cemetery.

He was born February 20, 1937, in Hickman County, KY, son of the late Marvin H. and Alta Mae (Clark) Elliott. He was a decorated U.S. Army veteran of the Korean War and Vietnam Conflict and was a Disabled American Veterans service officer for many years. He was a member of American Legion Post 31 and Veterans of Foreign Wars and of Lone Oak (KY) First Baptist Church.

Survivors also include his daughter and son-in-law, Julie and Tony Peck of Paducah; two grandchildren, Tiffany Peck and Lezley Peck (who, sadly, I have never met), both of Paducah; and his sister, Doris Owens of Stone Mountain, GA.He was also preceded in death by four brothers, M.G. Elliott, Freeman Elliott, Reed Elliott (my Grandpa) and Norman Elliott."

Cat Farm-Cat Farm! Life on the Cat Farm!

Unless you are a cat lover, life on the Cat Farm may not seem all that appealing, but, let me assure you, with Mary, Zu, Bart and Arnie around, there is never a dull moment.

The girls are great company. They are avid listeners and love to help.

A few days ago, Zu heard Dad mention he forgot to buy fertilizer for the garden. So what did she do? She strolled right over and personally fertilized the tomato plant. Unfortunately, she didn't get the response, I'm sure she was looking for, from Dad. I tried to persuade Dad Zu was just trying to help but when she pissed on the seed packets two days later, I believe Dad felt vindicated. That Zu!

Bart and Arnie are like feline Wonders of the World. I have never seen two cats more devoted to one another. They consistently weave their bodies around each other in this beautiful, fluid motion. Their behavior reminds me of Paolo and Francesca in Dante's Divine Comedy. Instead of lovers, Bart and Arnie are sisters, trapped in this completely dependent relationship that's totally reciprocal. Dad thinks their behavior is a defense mechanism against predators like coyotes or dogs but I'm not certain I buy that. The coyotes have migrated to another area, for now, and there aren't really any dogs around either. I prefer to believe they are just special cats and we are lucky to have them with us. Dad does not appreciate cats the way I do and believes Bart and Arnie would be better off living elsewhere. If I get my way, Bart and Arnie will be a permanent fixture on the Cat Farm.

Life on the Cat Farm is not all work and no play. Zu and Mary love to join me for a nice afternoon on the deck where we stretch out and lie in the sun.

Zu loves to play hide and seek. She does this by sneaking under my beach towel whenever I'm not around. When I return and see a lump under my towel I call out, "Where's Zu?" Zu always waits a few seconds before peaking her head out from under the towel. I am going to miss that.

Mary Bear is still the model cat; skinny and elegant. She quietly struts around the place imposing her will subtly on anyone in her path. This month Mary and ZuZu celebrated their tenth (in human years) birthday. I can't believe they have been with us a decade. It seems like yesterday we were cuddling them in our hands, waiting for them to open their eyes. I hope they are with us for ten more. The Cat Farm would not be the same without them.

Aaah, family.

I love Britain's Got Talent. My favorite act of the year? Stavros Flatly. Not familiar? Well, feel free to avail yourself.

Here is there initial performance:



And the semi-final one to follow!

My New Snack Obsession

I have Rae Rae to thank for my love of these delightful gummy snacks. She purchased some during our road trip to The Grand Teton National Park and I have been enjoying their fruity flavors ever since. If you are searching for a yummy, low-calorie snack, reach for these. You won't regret it.

Deep Thoughts

There is a hill on my Dad's farm I have designated as my thinking place. Every evening around 7pm I hike "my" hill. I sit and ponder the important questions of life, i.e. what does my life mean? Where am I going? What's my purpose? Am I doing what I was intended to do?

I don't think I have ever received a single answer to these questions but yesterday I did have an epiphany regarding male names I find acceptable for a future romantic partner.

I have already discussed this with Stephanie, however, I am curious to know if others have experienced similar thoughts or if I have totally lost my mind.

MY LIST OF ACCEPTABLE MALE NAMES...

Andrew-Every Andrew, Andy or Drew I have met or dated has been wonderful.

Sam-Sleepless in Seattle, need I say more?

Elliott-Every Elliott I know is intelligent and successful. It was also my Mother's maiden name.

Dan- I know a lot of good men named Dan. Also, Daniel Pearl is one of my heroes.

David- Never dated a David but I love David in the Old Testament because of his loyalty and humility.

Paul-I went out with a Paul at BYU. Not only was he handsome but very well-mannered

George-There are so many amazing men named George. I can't remember every meeting a George I didn't like.

Levi-I love Jewish men and this is one of the hottest Jewish names ever!

Palmer-I love Jimmy Palmer on NCIS. I know it's silly but I love it when they refer to him as Palmer instead of his first name, Jimmy.

Greene- Family name

Grey-Images of an academic in tweed, a bowtie and glasses come to mind. Sexy!

Graham-English bloke with scruffy hair, five o'clock shadow and a JCrew wardrobe. What more could a girl ask for?