This evening Steph and I were having a conversation about my plans to post this photo of my Dad. Although my Mom always claimed my Dad was anything but a ladies man I believe this photo and the fact that his ex-girlfriends from over thirty years ago still call him is evidence to the contrary.
I will never forget the time that Josh informed my saint Grandma that my Dad had premarital sex with women before he married Mom. Years later, we discovered Grandma had physical proof of this long before Josh tried to shock her.
Although he's been out of the dating scene for awhile, or at least that's what he allows us to believe, Dad is still in the game, according to Steph. Her argument is based on a conversation I repeated to her that I had with my Dad a few evenings ago over the phone.
The conversation began with, "So this guy from SF emailed me today and wants me to meet him for a long weekend in NC at his parents' cabin on the lake. He's the same guy that's been writing me for over two years. The guy I met at the Inauguration. The one who is a West Point drop-out, water polo player and coach, world traveler, journalism major Jew. He's intelligent, thoughtful, and worldly in ways that I can only imagine--never experience. We are total opposites and yet there still seems to be an attraction, perhaps its more curiosity, there that keeps him coming back and prevents me from writing him off forever--which I am really good at and actually tried to do to him but he didn't let me.
Anyway, my father, after I explained the scenario to him simply asked, "Amber, what do you want?" I replied, "What do you mean, Dad? I want to see this guy again but I don't think we should be alone together and frankly, I don't know why he would invite me to his parents' cabin." To this my Dad responded, "Lucy, your Dad ain't trying to tell you your business but if you don't want to sleep with this guy then don't go. If you do go, you might get a phone call later from the guy thanking you for the memories." (My Dad burst into song on the last part).
And there you have it. My Dad admitting, verbally, that a man might want to have sex with his daughter.
It may sound odd to most people but I love that I can trust my Dad with things like this; that I can confide in him knowing he will give me sound counsel and his honest opinion. He always has. Regrettably, I have not always heeded his advice but I appreciate the wisdom he imparts nonetheless.
I don't know how many times he's listen to me cry over some man who's hurt my feelings or frustrated me so that tears are my only release. I often tease him that this is his penance for all the broken hearts he incurred as a bachelor. That through me he is able to see how his actions may have affected the women he dated and subsequently dumped. I'm sure my theory is incorrect but, being my mother's daughter, sometimes its hard to resist playing the guilt card.
A romantic, he wrote my mother poems during their courtship. My mother cut Love Is cartoons out of the paper and saved them with their letters in an album, which I keep today. He has never forgotten the women he dated and loved. He still sings, "Jean, Jean roses are red...," in remembrance of his girlfriend Jean who I met once when I was a kid.
Then there was Tina the Portuguese Catholic from New York who was his fiancee before Mom. Although Mom was a blonde, Dad swears he prefers women with raven hair. Joshie is the same. Dad used to tease Mom that Tina Turner was the object of his desire but I think he was really teasing her about Tina from New York. Mom would pretend like she didn't care but you could tell it irked her to think that Dad would ever compare her to another woman.
Dad is also the only man I have ever known who actually went on a blind date with a blind woman. It's a story he doesn't share often but it totally turned him off to the idea and he has not been on a blind date since.
I don't think I will ever understand men but the relationship I have with my Dad and brother give me hope that one day I will meet another man, one I am not related to, that I can confide in and respect the way I do my Dad. So here's to a ladies man in disguise, who's just waiting for the perfect moment to "break loose," and shock everyone by marrying a woman twenty years his junior who, thanks to breast implants, has bigger juggs than Pamela and legs even Tina Turner will be envious of. Love you Daddy.