Dear Mom
As you probably know, last Thursday I flew to Charleston, West Virginia for Uncle Gary's funeral. It's strange to think I flew to Kentucky on a Thursday for your funeral as well. Both funeral services were on the Saturdays following your passing. Your caskets were even similar. Gary's was a little darker than yours but the scrolling and other details were the same. Recognizing this resurrected the memories I have of standing near your casket, sobbing as I tried to comprehend what your death really meant. I am not sure I will ever understand. I just know its the worst experience I have ever endured in my life.
Although the past three weeks have been very painful, they have also been filled with so much love. I feel as though my heart, though broken, has increased in its capacity to love. Every moment I spent with family last weekend I cherished. I held people longer than I usually do, thinking each time I embraced them, "What if this is the last time I will ever hold them?"One of the highlights was seeing most of Grandma's great-grandchildren. Allison was there. Mom, if I ever have a little girl I hope she behaves like Allison. Although she's only 2 she is the sweetest little angel and I adore her. Ginger dresses her in cutest clothing, making hair bows to match each outfit. I am so glad you were able to play with her last August when she was in town for Joshie's wedding.
Regina and her family drove in from Virginia. I finally met her son, Jacob and her daughter Lakin. Regina is as pretty as ever. It was so good to see her again. Rema and her sister even came to the funeral. She still looks the same. Funny how some people never change.
This photo was taken of me and Daddy at Clear Fork Baptist Church after Gary's funeral. Irwin, Grandma's preacher, hosted a dinner at the church for everyone who attended the funeral. There were so many people. It's nice to know Gary was loved by so many. I wish you could have been with us. You would have loved the fried chicken and homemade pies. Although I look tired I like this photo of Daddy and I. I want to take as many photos of him as I can. We don't have a lot and I don't ever want to forget him and the memories we made together. He made me stand in front of him to hide his belly. I always tell him I love him just the way his is. I know you would have something snide to say in response but I think his belly makes him look more like a Grandpa. I'm only sorry he isn't one yet.
Matt and his kids were also there. I couldn't resist taking photos of his youngest Brayden. Like his older sister, Brayden has the cutest blond hair and the bluest eyes. He is also very particular about the company he keeps preferring his mother or Grandma Anna only. It's nice seeing Anna as a Grandma. She's so good with the kids and they adore her. She reminds me so much of you in some ways.
Matt and his kids were also there. I couldn't resist taking photos of his youngest Brayden. Like his older sister, Brayden has the cutest blond hair and the bluest eyes. He is also very particular about the company he keeps preferring his mother or Grandma Anna only. It's nice seeing Anna as a Grandma. She's so good with the kids and they adore her. She reminds me so much of you in some ways. One night she fell asleep on the couch and looking at her I saw you. I just wanted to snuggle up next to her and pretend for a moment she was you. Instead I crawled in bed with Grandma and slept with her.
So many people from the community attended the funeral. People who have been friends of our family for years. During the wake, Dad introduced Lauren and I to Carl Cook. Mom, this guy was amazing. The stories he told us about Dad and Grandpa were insane. Lauren and I were laughing the entire time. Of course, Josh wasn't around so we forced Carl to sit with us at dinner the next day.
So many people from the community attended the funeral. People who have been friends of our family for years. During the wake, Dad introduced Lauren and I to Carl Cook. Mom, this guy was amazing. The stories he told us about Dad and Grandpa were insane. Lauren and I were laughing the entire time. Of course, Josh wasn't around so we forced Carl to sit with us at dinner the next day. He told us about his first wife who came after him with a shot gun when he tried to leave her, about his mother-in-law who attended a snake handling church, how he went hunting with Grandpa Kidd and Dad. It was really cool. I learned things about Grandpa Kidd that I never knew. He even worked with him at Copperston mine. The Cook's own everything in Oceana from the barber shop to the DMV. The main street running through town was renamed Cook Parkway because there are so many of them. I can honestly say, though, all the Cooks I met were really nice. One Cook, the barber, wouldn't accept Dad's money when he discovered he was in town for Gary's funeral. Touching.
On the way to the funeral, Lauren spotted this sign. Josh and I were so dumbfounded we stopped on our way out of town to take a picture.
On the way to the funeral, Lauren spotted this sign. Josh and I were so dumbfounded we stopped on our way out of town to take a picture. Am I missing something? Is this just a play on words? Somehow I don't think it is. I honestly believe someone living in West Virginia believes the correct spelling of "congratulation" is actually "congradadulation." It's beyond me.
It still amazes me that Dad ever got out. I am so glad he did and that he met you. I'm also glad you married him so Josh and I could be apart of such a loving, hard-working family. I marvel at the love they have for one another and am so grateful they extend that love to me.
I am not sure how things work where you are but if you are with Gary please give him a hug for me. Although he attended your funeral I didn't spend much time with him. I feel so bad about that now. I just didn't know it would be the last time I would see him.
One of the last things he did was hug me and say, "You are so beautiful. You know that girl?" I was so anxious to be near you, that I hugged him quickly, muttered, "Thanks, but I don't feel beautiful. I have to go inside now," and then walked away. If I had only known, I would have paused and spoken to him a little longer. I just wanted to be near you. I just wanted to be with Dad and Josh and I wasn't thinking clearly.
Tonya described it as walking through fog. It's true and although the fog is lifting it continues to linger. I am still having a difficult time concentrating and making decisions is a challenge, especially decisions that require commitment of any type. All I can hope is that God will lead me to where I need to be, providing a way for me to perform whatever work I need to do. I wonder if you will help me. I hope so. I long to feel you near.
I love you Mom. I wanted to call you so badly to tell you all about last weekend. Since you are gone this letter will have to do.
I love you Mom & miss you terribly
-Your Sissy
1 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your uncle.
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