Reunited
A few weeks ago I posted a blog in anticipation of Halloween and a love reading I received almost two years ago. To satisfy the curiosity of those who may be wondering what the holiday yielded I am a little disappointed to admit my status as a single adult has not change. Mr. Right did not appear promising to change my life forever. Instead, I received a telephone call from my Uncle Jerry saying that my Aunt Nancy passed away. Since receiving that call, I have often looked at the photo above picturing my Mother, Great-Grandma Elliott, Nancy and myself. As of October 30th I am the only woman in the photo living. They have all gone and left me behind; a single woman without her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and now aunt to guide her through the decisions she will face in life. Often I am tempted to think I have been robbed but, despite my feelings, the hard truth remains, they are gone and no matter how I mourn for them or pray for a quick reunion nothing can change that.
Looking through the photos I have scanned, since my Mother's passing, I noticed I have more photos of my Mother and Nancy together than I do of my Mother and I. Despite the thirteen month age difference between them, many often mistook them for twins.
Nancy was tall and slender with darker hair while my Mother was shorter, fluffier and blond.
Following my Mom's death, Josh, Lauren, Dad and I discovered letters Nancy had written to my Mom when they were younger. Reading them aloud was a bittersweet experience. I think Josh said it best, "The hardest part about life is living after those we love die." I couldn't agree more.
Although Nancy and Jerry never lived close to us, they would often visit. I remember the first Christmas present I received from them; a Snoopy piggy bank. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. In fact, I still have it; cracked head and all. 
Unlike my Mother, my Aunt Nancy had been suffering from a terminal illness for years. Battling the final stages of Huntington's disease, we realized Nancy's time was short. No one, especially her children, ever expected my Mother would proceed Nancy in death. We worried how Nancy's death would affect my Mother but never, ever assumed she would be the first to leave.
Looking through the photos I have scanned, since my Mother's passing, I noticed I have more photos of my Mother and Nancy together than I do of my Mother and I. Despite the thirteen month age difference between them, many often mistook them for twins.
Nancy was tall and slender with darker hair while my Mother was shorter, fluffier and blond.
Following my Mom's death, Josh, Lauren, Dad and I discovered letters Nancy had written to my Mom when they were younger. Reading them aloud was a bittersweet experience. I think Josh said it best, "The hardest part about life is living after those we love die." I couldn't agree more.
Although Nancy and Jerry never lived close to us, they would often visit. I remember the first Christmas present I received from them; a Snoopy piggy bank. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. In fact, I still have it; cracked head and all. When they moved to Alexandria, VA Mom piled us in the car for a road trip to the "big city." Nancy and Jerry loved to tease us about being country bumpkins. I still have the video recording of our Fourth of July holiday with them in DC. Although I am grateful for the wonderful memories we made I deeply regret missed opportunities to make more.
Unlike my Mother, my Aunt Nancy had been suffering from a terminal illness for years. Battling the final stages of Huntington's disease, we realized Nancy's time was short. No one, especially her children, ever expected my Mother would proceed Nancy in death. We worried how Nancy's death would affect my Mother but never, ever assumed she would be the first to leave.My Mother left us on January 30th. Precisely nine months later my Mother came for her sister. Although I rejoice they are together, and suspect are having a wonderful time, I feel a little left out; like I did when they would spend hours together in the bathroom doing their hair and makeup dismissing me because there wasn't enough counter space or they wanted to talk. I was always the younger, less experienced, naive, ugly duckling, Amber who felt so inferior in their presence. They were the most beautiful, sophisticated women I knew and I wanted more than anything to be just like them. Who do I look to now? How will my children ever understand and appreciate the women who proceeded them and shaped my life forever? How can I possibly fill the gap their absence has created in my heart; in my life?
Being the last Elliott woman, at least in the photo, remaining, I only hope I can do as Jerry counseled, continue the legacy they perpetuated; become a woman of beauty, intelligence and strength.
6 comments:
You already have, darling.
Amber, both Kelli and I send our condolences. I am so sorry. You are already the woman your Uncle Jerry counseled you to be.
We love you!!!
Amber, both Kelli and I send our condolences. I am so sorry. You are already the woman your Uncle Jerry counseled you to be.
We love you!!!
Amber, you are in my prayers. I hope you are given the comfort and strength to deal with these losses in your life.
Like they said before, you are already the women you strive to be to carry on the legacy of your family's stong, beautiful women.
Thanks Ladies. I love you too and don't know what I would do without you.
I couldn't agree more. Love you!
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