Precious baby boy. You joined our family six weeks ago transforming lives and hearts the moment you entered our world. Everything about you is miraculous. Since I've been home we've spent a lot of time together. I have enjoyed every second, excluding yesterday when you spit up on my crotch and then urinated on my side giving me the look and smell of a hobo who walks around wearing black sweats with a huge white patch on the crotch, leaving all who see the bizarre location of this stain questioning how and why its located "there." No worries. I don't blame you. I'll blame your Dad. :)

Everything about you is getting bigger. Your hands and feet, your smiles, your legs and arms, and much to my dismay, your poop. Luckily, I have only changed one of your poopy diapers but, let me tell you son, one is enough. Please don't ever poop on my watch again.

Apart from the dirty diapers and spit up, you are an absolute delight. Your birth was like a catalyst resulting in a resurrection of life for our family. After three years of loss and, what seems continual grief, you have given us a reason to rejoice and, for that, I will always be grateful.

I love you little man. I have enjoyed spending this past month with you, watching you grow and develop. Your parents love you dearly and absolutely want the best for you in all things. Always remember that. Your Aunt Amber is the coolest member of the family outside of your parents. Always remember that too.

Heart and Soul-

A.A.

After spending Easter weekend in West Virginia visiting family, Dad and I stopped by my Aunt Linda's house on our way home.

Ginger, Linda's daughter, lives close to her mother and dropped by so we could see Allison and Brian Parker. Allison is in pre-school and Brian Parker is nine months old. A year had passed since I had seen Allison and although she's grown, she's still the same sassy, classy girl I remembered.

We talked about everything from dinosaurs, to Disney princesses, to her three-story Barbie house (complete with an elevator), to art (which is her favorite subject in school) to future career ambitions, which currently include becoming an astronaut or vet, I think.

Last fall, Allison was a cheerleader and is very good at it. She is also a very good big sister who is surprisingly generous when it comes to sharing her toys with Parker. She also tells her brother she loves him often. Needless to say, Brian Parker is a very lucky little man.

Before leaving I decided to take a few photos of the adorable duo. This photo (below) is my favorite. Joshie and I had a red Radio Flyer wagon but it wasn't as fancy as Allison's. Instead of plastic ours was comprised of wood and metal. It definitely did not have a fold-up seats that offered back supports. Modern toys are nice but I prefer eighties vintage classics.
The idea of planning a family reunion was also discussed. In the last year, three baby boys have been added to the Kidd family, i.e. Brian Parker, Alec (pretty sure that's his name), and Jett. It's nice Jett will have so many cousins, close in age, to play with at family functions. Reunion or not, I look forward to the day when Jett, Allison and Parker can play together.

This afternoon I discovered the desk I used as a child sitting in the corner of the apartment below our farmhouse. Tokens of my childhood were stored inside. An envelope addressed to myself, with the warning "Don't read until you are 18," caught my attention. I gingerly opened the envelope to find a letter I had written to myself seventeen years ago to fulfill a Personal Progress goal. Dated September 13, 1993 it reads:


Dear Amber,





I've just been looking through my Personal Progress and I chose to write a letter. You shouldn't read this unless you are eighteen. Right now I'm 15 yrs of age and I'm pretty sure my plans for the future are going to stay the same but they may change. After I graduate from high school I plan to attend BYU for my pre-med. My major will be biology and my minor will be drama. After I graduate from BYU, I plan to attend the U of Chicago to get my degree in Cardiology.


Hopefully, I will graduate with honors and then find a good paying job so I can help my husband support my family.


I want to have only 2-4 children and I've already picked one boy name and it is Coty. I love that name and it will be appropriate if we live out West.


Spiritually, I hope my testimony will grow and strengthen and that one day I'll be able to teach Young Women like my teachers teach me. I love going to church and I'm glad my brother has the chance to pass the sacrament. One day I want to be able to say that I have lived a good life and Heavenly Father would be proud of me.


Well I guess I should close. Thanks for remembering to read this letter and good luck on your journey to womanhood.





Love,


Amber



Obviously, my life has evolved into something quite different than what I planned. I did, however, graduate from BYU but not with a degree in biology. I did obtain a secondary degree but not in Cardiology. For three years I had a fantastic paying job but am not sure how much longer that will last. I have not married and do not have 2-4 children, "only."
Although, my life didn't turn out as I planned, the life I have is not a bad life. However, I wonder if my fifteen year old self would be disappointed or pleasantly surprised at the life my thirty-two year old self is living. I guess I'll never know.

For over a decade I have been searching for information regarding my cousins who are pictured in the photo above. They are my Uncle Danny's children. Unfortunately, Uncle Danny has been estranged from his ex-wife and children for over a decade and is mum when it comes to their personal information which is essential in locating them. I thought about posting these photos on Facebook to see if any of my LDS friends might recognize them but decided to try blogging first. This is the information I have, which is not much.

My Uncle Danny married Loisann Bierman in the Los Angeles Temple. Loisann was from the Los Angeles area. I have no idea how they met since Danny did not attend a church school or university and grew up in Georgia. They had six children. They are from oldest to youngest:

Kerry "Harrison" Elliott

Clairalyn Elliott

Jeremy Jason Elliott

Benjamin Elliott

Valerie Elliott

Sherilyn Elliott

It is rumored they may have changed their last names when their parents divorced. They may have adopted their mother's maiden name, Bierman, or taken the name of a step father. That remains unclear. It is also believed Loisann and the children resided in the Chattanooga, TN area during the mid-to-late 1990's. Despite my efforts I have discovered very little.

If anyone has any information regarding these individuals, my cousins, I would appreciate the opportunity to contact them and renew my relationship with them.

about seeing the Pointer Sisters in concert tonight! I am less than an hour away from hearing hits like Automatic, Fire, Jump, Slow Hand, and Neutron Dance. Hits my Mother played by the pool, in the car and especially during road trips. She loved them and I love them too. Their songs remind me of the fun we used to have and good memories we created together. I wanted to see them in concert but this is really for my Mom who didn't have the opportunity in life but who I pray will be with me in spirit.

Not only is he a great father he is a terrific Grandfather. I'm sure there will be many more but I love this picture for several reasons. This picture was taken after I had tried to comfort Jett, who was only fussy because he was hungry. As soon as I picked him up Dad was insistent I hand him over so he could hold him. I have to admit I was a little surprised. It was my last evening with Jett and I assumed I would have preference. Dad is so good with him though. I can already tell Jett loves him and there is no doubt the feeling is absolutely mutual.

Although I am not thrilled about being released from my current assignment, I am looking forward to spending time with my Dad and Baby Jett. It will be so nice taking Neville for walks each day, hanging out with Mary, Zu and Little Bit, planting the garden, and feeding the catfish. I am also looking forward to hanging out with Joshie and Lauren.

Kentucky is such a beautiful state, rich in history and culture. I am fortunate to have such a beautiful home to return to. I am also grateful to have a father whose willing to welcome me home no matter what my circumstance.

I love you Dad!