Fifteen Going on Thirty-Two

This afternoon I discovered the desk I used as a child sitting in the corner of the apartment below our farmhouse. Tokens of my childhood were stored inside. An envelope addressed to myself, with the warning "Don't read until you are 18," caught my attention. I gingerly opened the envelope to find a letter I had written to myself seventeen years ago to fulfill a Personal Progress goal. Dated September 13, 1993 it reads:


Dear Amber,





I've just been looking through my Personal Progress and I chose to write a letter. You shouldn't read this unless you are eighteen. Right now I'm 15 yrs of age and I'm pretty sure my plans for the future are going to stay the same but they may change. After I graduate from high school I plan to attend BYU for my pre-med. My major will be biology and my minor will be drama. After I graduate from BYU, I plan to attend the U of Chicago to get my degree in Cardiology.


Hopefully, I will graduate with honors and then find a good paying job so I can help my husband support my family.


I want to have only 2-4 children and I've already picked one boy name and it is Coty. I love that name and it will be appropriate if we live out West.


Spiritually, I hope my testimony will grow and strengthen and that one day I'll be able to teach Young Women like my teachers teach me. I love going to church and I'm glad my brother has the chance to pass the sacrament. One day I want to be able to say that I have lived a good life and Heavenly Father would be proud of me.


Well I guess I should close. Thanks for remembering to read this letter and good luck on your journey to womanhood.





Love,


Amber



Obviously, my life has evolved into something quite different than what I planned. I did, however, graduate from BYU but not with a degree in biology. I did obtain a secondary degree but not in Cardiology. For three years I had a fantastic paying job but am not sure how much longer that will last. I have not married and do not have 2-4 children, "only."
Although, my life didn't turn out as I planned, the life I have is not a bad life. However, I wonder if my fifteen year old self would be disappointed or pleasantly surprised at the life my thirty-two year old self is living. I guess I'll never know.

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1 comments:

Meg said...

How much easier life seemed at that age. You were brave. I might not have opened the letter!

And, hey, your 15 year old self would thank you for not accumulating med school loans

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