Dear Donkeys:

You. Are. Married. That means no more dating. No more flirting or asking girls to dinner. No more promises of developing a relationship. No! MORE! Know why? Because you chose to be MARRIED. Married. I think you need to keep reading it. How you're attached until death (usually) to the woman you decided you loved enough to stop all the crap you're talking about now.

Is it boring for you? Oh. Poor babies. I don't care. Not my problem. Buy a book. Buy a movie. Take her to Tahiti. Just leave me out of it.

And while we're on the subject, it's not helping that you're lying and spending time on the computer while "trying to fix things." I don't care that "she doesn't understand" you. When I asked you at the beginning of the conversation "Are you married?" and you said, "No. I'm divorced." or "No. I'm single." you exhibited the very behavior that made her stop trying.

Here's an idea--it's not her that's not understanding. It's you. You're not understanding her need for fidelity and trust. You're not understanding that the more you stare at porn or some chick on the screen that you're intimidating her. You! You're the one setting up the crazy ideals and inflicting the problems. You!

Because you know what?! She believed that you loved her enough to stay true. That you were the one. And she trusted you to keep it that way. To hold her above all others and treat her like a queen. So when you log onto wherever and look at Jenna spread-eagled and moaning her brains out, you're breaking a sacred trust. And the silly this is that she's still trying? How do I know? BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL MARRIED. If she'd stopped trying, you'd be divorced.

Beyond that, you're pissing me off. I asked. I did my due diligence. And then to find out later that it was all lies doesn't build a great basis for our "friendship" or our "honest attraction."

Screw you and stay away from me. Lose my screen name. Lose my first name. Just erase me from your memory because you creep me out and I don't. date. married. guys.

I don't chat with them. I don't entertain friendships that aren't offshoot, casual friendships based on a close one with YOUR WIFE. I don't fantasize. I. do. not. entertain. the. idea. of. cheating! NO! So just stop, married guys. Get of the dating websites. Get out of the online flirting game. Get out of the "single and looking" rooms. You're not welcome there. Know why? You're married.

Stop.

Steph