I got a bit of a talking-to yesterday at work. I've been missing details and, generally, not concentrating enough. Surprise! An ADD girl that can't concentrate? Who ever would have guessed!?

As I was talking to a friend of mine last night about my seemingly eternal quest to finish my undergraduate degree. I expressed to him that I was bored by school and, therefore, usually didn't finish what I'd started. He said, "Sounds like an excuse to me." For a moment I was offended and then I thought, "You know--he may have a point."

There is a certain amount of biology that goes along with the ADD brain. It really is functionally different than a "normal" one. But you know, even with that challenge I've managed to do things that bore me. Why is school such a challenge for me?

I think, perhaps, until recently I haven't been able to picture the ROI that would make me withstand boredom. I'm feeling differently now that I am back in an office setting. In restaurants or kitchens, you don't need a degree. You need to be quick, competent, accurate, personable and confident. I am those things. But I don't want to manage restaurants and kitchens for my entire life. I love them but I'm not willing to work the nights, weekends and long hours that they require. So, back to the office. And here it's a different story. The aforementioned traits can take me only so far. That's becoming more obvious to me the longer I'm here.

I did know these things before, of course, but I was waiting for something--putting off the rest of my life until the time was perfect. Of course, that time will never come. Things will always be in the way. And I need to stop using anything as an excuse. I need to embrace the part of me that won't allow for a "no" and get going.

Today Bond Girl begins to attempt recovery of priceless artifacts from the base of the Masonic Temple in Alexandria. Sadly, only VA. But some day she'll be digging in the other one!

We're sorry that we don't update more--our faithful two readers! We love you. We promise to have more consistent adventures this summer.

See how the people in this photo look fake and clueless? Remember that when you're thinking about seeing Just My Luck. It's officially DUMBER than Firewall. And that's saying something.

The basic plot--if you can call it that--of this movie is that when you kiss you get lucky. Girl is lucky. She kisses boy. He's lucky. She kisses him again. She gets lucked in return. She feels guilty about the lucking and returns the favor to the boy. Then they both give up and luck another person. Credits roll.

Amber and I start to laugh because we are so happy that we only paid $5 to see this movie.

I do have to say this. The movie did have one high point. It never, ever altered from EXACTLY what I thought was going to happen next. The effect is that you feel pretty smart for being able to predict the next joke down to the camera angle.

And then you realize that you don't have a degree. That you're steeped in pop culture to the point of being able to do the aforementioned and you begin to weep without regard for those around you.

Later, after they have talked you down and put you in the calming, soft, white room you begin to understand that life really does have purpose and you'll be ok. Soon they let you go and you can rebuild your life.

So, please. Don't go. Just stop now. Listen to me! I know! I've been there!

It's not pretty.

In celebration, of Steph's bonus at work we decided to see a movie. In addition, Steph wanted to talk about the "object of her affection," because men are really nothing more than objects, so we did the typical girl activity and saw what I thought was a romantic comedy. Oh no. Although I am often wrong about many things, I hate it. There is nothing worse than being reminded of a horrible decision and tonight that is exactly what happened. For one hour and forty-three minutes I was reminded I had made the worst movie decision of my life. Stephanie and I seriously predicted the entire movie. It was a no-plot, no-brainer flick. I don't mind Lindsey Lo-Lo but man, I wasn't the only one who made a bad choice. If I were her I would seriously think about getting a new agent. Perhaps she is trying to gain a following among younger uh, children maybe? I don't know.
Stephanie and I tried to identify a plot but alas we believe there wasn't one. For our readers who are not familiar with Lindsey's new acheivement, if it can be called that, its titled Just My Luck. Lindsey plays a young woman who enjoys a life filled with nothing but good luck. Its not even good, its unrealistic. She lives in a huge NYC flat, meets "sexy men" who take her to professional basketball games, and wears Dolce and Gabbana dresses. All this and she's what? 18? Lindsey's luck changes when she meets the unluckiest man ever. After dancing with him for one minute she kisses this guy. Doesn't know his name, the song isn't even over and bam, she's locking lips with a total stranger. What does this teach young girls? Aghh.
Immediately following the kiss, everything in Ms Lohan's life goes badly. Sound familiar ladies? Her first mistake was trusting and kissing a man she had just met. Lucky for her, he tried to redeem himself later. The last five minutes of the movie is nothing but kissing. Lucky for us it was $5.oo movie night at the theatre. For those interested, $5.00 movie night ended tonight, but will resume once the summer ends and kiddies are back in school. A fact that makes me incredibly excited about reproducing. I can already see the benefits; ruining movie night for members of mankind who are destined to spend mortality ALONE.
As we were walking out of the theatre I almost tripped, and got popcorn on the bottom of my shoe. This makes me wonder if its bad luck to see the movie. I promised Stephanie I would monitor my behavior over the week, if the bad luck continues then we have vowed to endure the movie again in the hopes my luck will be reversed. Maybe that is how the director plans to make a profit on this venture. Curse all those who watch it so they will have to spend money to see it again reversing the spell. The fact that Stephanie would agree to sit through this movie again, if I have lost whatever luck I had, reminds me how lucky I am to have her as a friend.

I was walking in down Germantown Road in Philly. I was on a photo safari while I was waiting for Basilios. A man walked behind me for a couple of blocks, whistling a tune. Then, slowly, he passed me. He said "Hello." I replied. Then he started to cross the street. Just before stepping out he turned to me and said, "Miss. Whoever he is, you tell him I'm jealous."

Previously I explored the question of why people pretend they don't love or care for another when they really do. An example of someone who has done this is Lucy Honeychurch, the main character in the movie, A Room With a View. Her love interest, George Emerson is one of my favorite male characters, next to Rhett Butler, in Gone With the Wind, George Bailey in, It's a Wonderful Life, and Noah Calhoun in The Notebook.
I never thought I would meet a man like Noah Calhoun but last Saturday I think I came close.
Saturday Beth, Kate and I decided to take advantage of the Boston Sailing Center's free sailing lessons. In addition to meeting three really fun guys, Mark, Paul and Rob, I met George. George, shown in the photo on the left, was perfect. Like Noah, he appreciated beautiful music. Classical music (Handel to be exact) drifted up from the cabin as we navigated Boston's harbour. The music with the lapping of the water was hypnotic.
Although the wind was chilly, the sky was a clear blue. The sun was bright reflecting off the water causing us to squint.
May in Boston, is not like May in Washington. Waiting in line I quickly became very cold. Mark, kindly wrapped his royal blue Patagonia fleece around me for warmth. Looking back I am not sure this was a good thing because later George offered Beth his jacket, stored in the cabin, so she could stay warm. See what a gentleman he is? :)
Since these were sailing lessons, everyone was expected to assist George with the sails and navigation. Thankfully, Mark, Paul and Rob did all the tying and pulling while I steered the craft. Like most things, it took me awhile to get used to the logistics of sailing. George would often put his hand near mine on the rudder to help me guide the craft. At one point I confessed I pretended to be confused because I wanted him to hold my hand. In response, he put his hand over mine but only for a brief moment.
George reminded me of Noah in other ways. For instance, George dresses exactly the way I imagine Noah Calhoun would dress; khakis, a rugby shirt, with a gray pull-over wool sweater. The loafers and the matching baseball cap provided the perfect finishing touches to the most inviting ensemble I have ever beheld. Looking at him, I had this overwhelming urge to get lost beneath a big, fluffy goose down comforter with him forever. Instead I had to settle with this photo.
In the course of our journey, I never once heard George curse. Do you know how attractive that is? Every man I know, with the exception of my father, curses. Most men my age do it quite often. Not only is it offensive its unnecessary. It is a habit I have adopted over the past year, but am trying to quash. George never became impatient and always complinted each participant, when they did something well, with, "beauty." Jason Bowman used to say that.
George also took each of our hands as we entered and exited the boat. I love it when a man does that. So nice.
Finally the last thing that impressed me about this man, who I will probably never see again, is he quickly rushed to help another crew that was coming in, when he easily could have stood by and watched as they struggled to dock their boat. I love men who are quick to be anxiously engaged.
The one hope I hang on to in regards to George, is his job as a defense contractor often brings him to Washington. Although DC is a big place, I'd like to think if fate brought us together once, it can happen again. Haven't you ever seen Serendipity?

But it went like this:

"I'm Amber. I'm the other half of Bond Girl and Iron Bladder."

And I loved her more.

Over the weekend a headline appeared on LDS.Org declaring Temple Square to be Utah's numero uno tourist attraction. DUH! Not only does Temple Square have over 150 gorgeous sister missionaries on site to assist all who enter therein, the Spirit is truly incredible. Mormons are not the only ones that recognize this. :) Although I retired my name tag over five years ago, I still get excited each time I read about the SLC Temple Square Mission.
Every General Conference I tear up remembering how wonderful it was to serve the Lord "in the tops of the mountains." There are some members of the LDS church who chide me about serving on Temple Square. Not only is it hurtful, its plain wrong. Many tease I did not serve a "real" mission. This is ridiculous. If the Lord through His prophet declared Temple Square a mission than its a "real" mission. I am humbled each time I think about the miracles I witnessed as I served people "from all nations of the earth." I know the Lord will continue to lead people to Temple Square because He wants all to come closer to Him. (I am not saying Temple Square is the only place where people can draw closer to the Savior. Don't even go there.) I just hope Temple Square will continue to be a magnet for those seeking peace and miracles. I LOVE YOU TEMPLE SQUARE!

You are a person who lives in the moment and is passionate about whatever and whoever you love.When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.In the future you will be wise and healthy.

The Secret Language of Sleep:A Couple's Guide to the Thirty-Nine Positions

Colon Traits and Tendencies
The Colon is the chosen pose of individuals who, on their own, seem awkward or remote. They may be the sort who responds to telephone messages with email, or spends their lunchtimes quietly pedometer-walking in lieu of socializing with coworkers. But when a Colonist finds its mate, together they acquire a grace and ease that surprises friends and family.

Comfort Zone
The Colon is one of the Sea Sleeper poses. Other Sea poses you might try: The Ticket Puncher and Sixth Posture of the Perfumed Forest.

A Note About Coping
Since Colonists rely so heavily on their partners to give them context and spark, the times when business or family obligations take one of them away from home can leave both sleepers demoralized. To temporarily fill the void, swap in a large, carnival-sized stuffed animal, making sure to keep candles, space heaters, or other combustibles well away from the bedside.

...I'm finally in Bond Girl's home! For more than 10 mins! We're eating popcorn and getting ready to go to a movie! It's so nice to be hanging out! Together!

Sorry. Dooce had a thing with exclamation points! And they are contagious.

A new site for our scrapping readers...Gwen has a new class!

This! concludes! our! post!

Antonio here we come!!! :)

Oh. Wait. Makafeke. I promised Boo that we'd blog about this but I don't quite know a nice way to express the many, various, interesting makafeke I call my own. There are nearly 10 that I can think of right away and, upon reflection, probably quite a few more.

What are my favorites? Hmmm. Well, there are men--love them. I know that there is a popular opinion right now that "Men Suck" or some such thing. I don't agree. I never have. I happen to be quite fond of them in all forms. Friends, lovers--any old presentation will do for me

You know, since we're in a 'stream of something' mood here, I was just thinking about this. What if I shared that porn was my makafeke? Would people believe me? First, it's statistically unlikely that (as a female) that would be an issue for me. Second, I'm sure that most of you would be shocked at the idea. Or maybe not. Depends on how well you know me, I guess. :)

But really, we talk about 'makafeke' but how many of us own what ours are? And how many would really share? And does sharing make a difference? I think there is an element of social responsibility that comes with sharing the things that make us weak. I have heard that it's freeing to stand in front of a group and 'own' to them your weakness. So, allow me...

Hello. My name is Stephanie. I'm addicted to several things. *Hello, Stephanie!*

In the Saturday morning session of General Conference (4.1.20o6) President Thomas S. Monson, first counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints likened the temptations of mortality to makafeke (the Tongan word for octopi lure). These lures consist of medium size round stones covered in seashells. Octopi mistaking the lure for prey, seizes the makafeke in a death grip, refusing to relinquish even as the fisherman hoists it out of the ocean and into his boat.
Each of us has a makafeke, according to President Monson; a temptation we find difficult to abandon even during times of peril.
Seven years ago I entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, Utah in preparation for my mission on Temple Square (SLC, UT). In the MTC missionaries do not have access to caffinated beverages, i.e. Diet Coke. Before my mission, I drank at least three or four glasses of Diet Coke a day. I was an addict. Yet I did not understand until I suffered severe headaches due to caffine withdrawls. Once the headaches ceased I vowed never to become a Diet Coke addict again. For six years I did not drink coke of any kind. I was such a braggart, taunting my mother every time we went to the grocery store. "You don't need that poison water," I would tease. "You're just wasting money," I continued. She would groan in response as she loaded my empty arms with liters of the "poision."
Fast forward to my brother's college graduation (5.2005). It was a hot Atlanta day. I had gone without food or drink for many hours. Famished and with no other choice, I took a big gulp of Josh's ice cold Coca-Cola. For a moment, the world stood still. The burn my throat experienced as the brown liquid washed down my throat was intoxicating. I begged for more. One sip was not enough. With one gulp I was hooked, not on Diet Coke as before, but on Classic Coca-Cola.
It has been 11 months since that fateful day. Although I can go a day without one, the urgings usually increase until I finally give in to that ice cold refreshment.
This was the first thing that came to mind, yesterday as I listened to President Monson describe the dangers of makafeke. My makafeke is not a stone covered in shells, its not men, money or any other vice. Ok, maybe that's not true, but for now, my makafeke consists of a red, white, and black aluminum can, filled with the finest beverage a native son of Georgia ever created.
Now you know mine, tell me, what is your makafeke?

Do you ever wish, on days like today, after an especially long and exhausting week, you could come home to this standing in your doorway? Yeah, I thought so.
From the time I was 6, I have adored Harrison Ford, as Dr. Jones. I don't know what it is but men in tweed blazers, oxford shirts, glasses, bow ties and khakis drive me wild. Add intellect, engaging conversation and I'm hooked.
Indiana Jones is one of the main reasons I earned a BA in Anthropology. Although most people think of Indiana as an archaeologist, I feel his character is more of a socio-cultural anthropologist, which is what I am. Either way the man and his character are fine.
My favorite scene in the entire triology is the bedroom scene between Kate Capshaw, "Willie" and Dr. Jones (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). Willie coyly asks Jones what kind of research he does. He answers nonchantly that he's a scientist. With further prodding from Willie, Jones finally admits as a scientist, his favorite research focuses on nocturnal behavior, especially mating rituals. I don't know why I think this dialogue is so clever but I have always enjoyed their exhange of sexual inuendo in this scene. I often wish I could have a similar encounter with a Dr. Jones or the equivalent thereof in mind, dress, behavior and physique. No such luck at BYU. All married. I've already checked out the Anthro Program at GW and there's nothing there either. Perhaps, a PhD program will yield the desired results. :)

Is that an orgy of concert tickets?

This morning I bought tickets to the Richmond Chili Cookoff.

Then I bought tickets to the DC 101 Chili Cookoff.

THEN, in order to cap my day, I got presale tickets to Melissa Etheridge at Constitution hall on Aug 10!!

I love the outdoor concerts (thus the first two purchases) but I would tattoo Melissa on my body. I adore her. I'm a "fan" in the sense of fanatic.

Long live summer concerts!!

Chances are if you read this blog you've heard about 'Big Love.' I've been waiting to form an opinion about it until I could get my thoughts straight on the issue. I've watched the second and third episodes and I'm done watching.

So. Polygamy's the basic issue of the show. To be honest (and maybe a bit shocking) I don't have an issue with the theory of polygamy. Those of you interested in the answer can ask me why offline. I do think that this is a glorified version of the actual practice and is as far off base as Carrie (Sex and the City) being able to afford both her rent and Jimmy Choo twice a week. It's TV. Exaggeration happens.

If the show was simply about a man married to several women I wouldn't even bother to be disturbed by it but I am. Why? There are catch words and phrases that are distinctly "Mormon" and the language is used intentionally to blur the line between "Mormons" and polygamists.

I've heard arguments that say the filming mocks ordinances. I don't agree. Odd things happen in any religion and any sane person can argue against the 'weird' things they show (blessing of a hunting rifle, for instance). Richard Dutcher has filmed several ordinances and while I'm personally not comfortable seeing them on film, it's his right to do so.

Personally I don't think that the subject matter is bad either. This show exposes a segment of our population that needs a voice. The current practice of polygamy is abhorrent in the extreme but it's rarely talked about. Maybe the portrayal of the very young women being married to old men will spur some help eradicating this practice. Maybe it will force people to examine what is really happening in these communities instead of joking about the pleasure they'd derive from having multiple wives themselves. Who knows?

What I do hate about the program is the syntax. People are identified by their language; LDS people especially so. We have sayings that cross cultural boundaries and languages. They are part of our identity. I can safely say that no matter where I am in the world if I hear a person talking about going to "institute," I can assume that they are LDS. Sayings and expressions are a form of identification and this program uses phrases that are "Mormon" to portray a practice that is not. It bothers me.

Do I mind that I have a chance to explain what I really believe? Of course not, assuming I get that chance. Do I mind that these phrases will become more well known? No. But I'm afraid that now they will be popularly associated with polygamy.

I think that some LDS people fear the close examination of the outside world. It's been a tough road for our religion with "outsiders." We have been conditioned, I believe, to be a bit reactionary when there is intense scrutiny. But I also know that times of pressure and intense scrutiny are the times the produce the most amazing results.

Will I watch again? No. And I think that throwing a huge effort into getting the show canceled will only serve to feed the fire. In this case I'm going to stick to my circle of influence and let go of worrying about things outside it. Regardless of the status of the show it's brought dialogue about a problem that I think needs a solution and the opportunity to address some misconceptions. That's enough for me to see the silver lining in the thunder cloud everyone's yammering about.



I'm going to open this post up to comments but if it gets snotty they are going right back off, FYI.

As we were en route to the Mall yesterday morning, my brother called. He had just picked up his devil cat Chef from the vet. As the pictures demonstrates, instead of being "put down" the furball got a haircut, her first I might add. From the look on Chef's face it is easy to discern the beast hates all of humanity. Named after Leonid Brezhnev, this demonic vessel will attack anyone who threatens her singular position with Josh. The unlikely duo are as "thick as theives." It will be interesting to see if this haircut will introduce new challenges to their relationship.

As the photo on the left shows, this is what is called a "lion cut." The body is completely shaved with the exception of the feet, head and tail. Having visited the National Zoo this afternoon with Steph and Jacqueline, the haircut doesn't resemble a lion at all. If you ask me Chef looks more like a poodle than jungle royalty.

Anyway, knowing Chef, I couldn't keep from laughing and subsequently sharing. Although she's a cat, she still has her pride and I know, despite her love for Josh, she'll seek revenge. Having been on the receiving end of some bad haircuts, I totally sympathize. Whatever happens, Josh will get what he deserves because, not even Chef deserves to suffer the kind of humiliation born of a haircut like this.

Following Steph's lead I decided to take the Relationship Quiz. Naturally, it told me something I already knew. See results below:

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating
You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.But you may be ready in a couple of years.You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.