On those nights.

Today my Schmammy said to me, "I rant therefore I am." I had to laugh because I tend to agree with her.

Tonight I came home to my little trailer, minus one shed, and I was reminded about why I'm here. My lawn was mowed because my brother loves me. The kitchen was clean because I like it that way. My laundry was all piled up on the loveseat but the rest of the living room was clean. Tulips are blooming on my table and my dog barked hello.

I miss my friends in DC so much some nights that I can't understand what ever posessed me to leave. Tonight I thought, "If I could just grab some sushi on the way home, call The Posse and spend time laughing, watching hockey or something else random...sigh."

Tonight the clouds have closed in the valley, keeping the heat here until morning. I walked next door and talked to my sister-in-law for a moment and found she'd made her Amazing chocolate-chip cookies. Then, as I walked home across the drive, Derek got back from his run. I stood outside in my pink, floral longjohn bottoms and orange top--as much unaware as unashamed--and talked to him about our bonfire this weekend. And what I might do with the little plot under the shed, probably a garden. Something that can show the result of my work and be shared. About when I might feel the need to branch out and how I could get ready if that happens again.

And, as I walk back inside to do another load of laundry, I remember that I came here for exactly this. The quiet. The time with just me. I know I talk about it all the time but it's novel to me. Just me. What do I do with that?

And, suddenly, the possibilities seem endless. But first, whites.

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